We won’t cope without our domestic diaspora

As the election hots up from lukewarm to tepid, I think we can all agree that there’s only one thing at the forefront of voters’ minds.

No, not renationalisation of the rail network or even strong and stable price caps on impenetrable energy tariffs. It’s the fate of nomads, of course.

Buried deep in Comrade Corbyn’s leaked manifesto, somewhere between calling for an end to badger culls and seizing back the means of production, is a reference to “respecting the rights of nomadic peoples”.

Now, when I heard about it on the Today programme, my first thought was: “Hurrah! More travellers on the local common this summer, flytipping by the playpark and using the hedgerow as a latrine.”

But my second thought was: “Does that mean we get to keep our Ukrainian cleaners and Latvian builders after Brexit?”

We take it as read that after the political divorce, we’ll be keeping the surgeons and IT chaps, the bankers and the handsome owner of that marvellous deli (you know the one – eggs flown in from

Tuscany, pecorino to die for…).

But it’s the loss of the cashin-hand economy that is really getting higher-rate taxpayers aerated.

It’s a birthright, a sort of twilight way of sticking it to the Inland Revenue, and frankly the only way to make a twiceweekly cleaner affordable.

Did I say cleaner? I meant gardener, nanny, dog-walker and that nice lady who comes and does the ironing and occasionally stays on to make the children’s tea.

I’m not sure we could live

– or, at least, live decently – without our domestic diaspora, so I have to salute Jeremy for his foresight in safeguarding the rights of wayfarers and wanderers. I just hope he extends his benevolent goodwill to those of us who be will upping sticks and emigrating if Labour wins on June 8.