Katrina’s guide to winning Eurovision
Get a star with a sense of humour
“Here’s how the UK would win: if somebody like Adele says, for a laugh, she’s going to do Eurovision. When we were asked, people were saying, ‘It’s the kiss of death! You’ll be a laughing stock!’ So they would have to be massively confident. It would be a cheeky thing to do. But it would turn the whole thing around, and change everybody’s perception of it.”
Flatter your way across Europe “Beg people to vote for you. Schmooze. Do the grin-andgrip. One of the things that helped us was that we were a band people knew. We did loads of work in Germany and Spain. This is something Jade Ewen did [in
2009]. He went around Europe asking, ‘Would you please vote for us?’ And guess what? We got to No 5.
Choose an uplifting song (or play the politics game)
“Everybody’s sick of the cheesy ballads. Something uplifting is the key – or something that’s incredibly politically resonant, like with Ukraine [in 2016], where they’ve got tears in their
Get a gimmick
“When we went up, it was like, ‘Aww, she’s wearing a green shirt because we’re in Ireland, isn’t that great?’ It’s way beyond the green shirt now! It’s laser lights and wind machines. Get a gimmick! Something (or someone) memorable. If it’s just an
X Factor reject, there’s no gimmick unless she’s singing with a monkey on her shoulder.”
Get Simon Cowell
“If you got Simon Cowell to find the person to represent the UK, you’re going to win. Because all eyes are on Cowell – he’s a brand. Have a full X Factorstyle show. At least then the performer would have confidence, because they would have been through the system.”