If they lose, blame it on the shockingly biased media

‘As he announced each policy they cheered. One or two punched the air’

If the unthinkable should happen, and Labour fail to win the election, who or what will Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters blame?

Obviously they can’t blame his policies, because they know that socialism is simple common sense, which only a fool or a fraud would reject. And obviously they can’t blame Mr Corbyn himself, because they know he is the saviour this country is crying out for, whom only a banker or a Zionist could oppose.

This leaves just one possible explanation. If Labour lose, it will be because Britain’s ignorant and sheep-like electorate have been brainwashed into voting against Mr Corbyn by the all-powerful corporate media.

Yesterday, at the launch of Labour’s manifesto in Bradford, journalists were invited to ask questions. Like guard dogs, Mr Corbyn’s supporters tensed.

“Mr Corbyn,” said a reporter from Channel 5. “Do you think it would be good for the country if immigration were reduced?”

“BOOOOOOOOOO!” bellowed Mr Corbyn’s supporters.

Politely, the Labour leader asked them not to boo again. “Mr Corbyn,” said a reporter from the Daily Mirror. “According to our polls, the vast majority of people really like your policies – but they don’t like you as leader. Why do you think that is?”

“BOOOOOOOOOO!” bellowed Mr Corbyn’s supporters.

Not even a Left-leaning newspaper like the Mirror, it seemed, could be trusted to ask a sympathetic question. The audience leapt to their leader’s defence. “We love you, Jeremy!” cried a woman at the back.

“Yay!” cried another.

Mr Corbyn looked down at his lectern.

“It’s not a cult of personality,” he murmured. “Don’t worry about it.” It wasn’t quite clear who he was talking to.

Still, one reporter managed to earn the audience’s approval. He was from Britain’s only communist newspaper.

“Peter Lazenby, Morning Star,” barked a man sporting an enormous walrus moustache, and a cap with a red five-pointed star on the front.

“Can anything be done about the shockingly biased media?”

“HOORAY!” cheered Mr Corbyn’s supporters. The applause, whooping and whistling lasted for over 20 seconds. One woman jabbed an angry finger in the direction of the BBC’S Laura Kuenssberg.

Mr Corbyn thanked the man in the moustache for his question.

“You’ve noticed that some of the media are slightly biased against the Labour Party,” said Mr Corbyn dryly. “This is sometimes said to be the case.” His supporters chuckled.

A free press, he told them, was “intrinsic to a free society”. To that end, his government would “develop Leveson”, because it was “important to ensure there is responsible journalism”.

His supporters applauded thunderously.

Whatever the shockingly biased media say about Mr Corbyn’s manifesto, it certainly had the backing of his audience in Bradford.

As he announced each policy in turn, they cheered. One or two punched the air, as if he’d just scored the winner at Wembley.

“YESSSS!” shouted a man at the end. “YES, JEREMY!”

It’s not a cult of personality. Don’t worry about it.