Midlife guide to...

Mastanamma What’s that, then?

You mean “Who’s that”, don’t you? She’s a 106-year-old Indian food vlogger, if you must know.

I’m sorry, did you say 106?

Indeed – not that she can prove it, as Mastanamma has no birth certificate. She believes she’s 106, though, which would make her the world’s oldest vlogger.

What is a vlogger, again?

A member of the public who uploads videos of themselves online – hers are cooking tutorials, and have 300,000 subscribers and 52 million views.

So she’s India’s Mary Berry?

Not exactly: Mastanamma, who has no formal culinary training, lives in a thatched hut in a village and cooks up her own recipes in the open air squatting around a kerosene-fuelled stove.

What does she cook?

Traditional meals from Andhra Pradesh, the south-eastern Indian region where she lives. Recipes include watermelon-baked chicken (yes, really), snake gourd, bread omelette, fried chicken (with enough spice to blow a hole in a KFC bucket) – oh, and her speciality: emu curry.

I’m sure Waitrose stocks emu. Can I have a go?

Only if you take it outside: Mastanamma cooks in the paddy fields by her village, so find somewhere suitably authentic. You’ll have to ditch the Kitchenaid, as Mastanamma uses minimal equipment: she peels vegetables with her nails, and measures everything in her hands. No plates or cutlery, either, so you’ll need banana leaves to serve everything.

Seems that improvisation is the secret to authentic cookery, then?

Precisely – if we can learn anything from Mastanamma, it’s that good food relies on simplicity and instinct. And that grandma always knows best.