Wonder Woman: the perfect antidote to Blunder Woman
Sorry? Theresa May tells Tory MPS that she is sorry. I’m sorry, but sorry is a word you use when your trolley bumps someone’s shin in Waitrose. Sorry is not what you say when your epic personal cluelessness, your voter-repelling manifesto and your arrogant and unaccountable special advisers, Nick Timothy and Fiona Hill, aka Rasputin and Lady Macbeth, have left the country in an almighty shambles. And on the eve of some of the most important negotiations in our history, too.
“I’m the one who got us into this mess and I’m the one who will get us out of it,” said the Prime Minister. She was joking, wasn’t she? Because of her, achieving the best possible Brexit deal is in jeopardy. Because of her, people in Brussels are waving placards showing her face with the word leuser underneath. Because of her, we are an international laughing stock.
Ministers may be plastering on their queasy, reshuffle smiles while sharpening their knives under the Cabinet table, but out here we feel shaken, mortified. We are stunned that the party managed to cede so much ground to a one-man student protest group called Corbyn. No wonder 60 per cent of Tory members believe Mrs May should resign, according to a survey by the Conservative Home website. But we are stuck with her.
If, like me, you are desperate for something to restore your faith in powerful females, then head to your nearest cinema and Wonder Woman. Can watching a demi-goddess in thigh-high boots and a Bronze-age tiara beating the living daylights out of hordes of evil men really offer some solace for the electoral battering of the Conservative Party? Amazingly, it can. Our heroine, Diana, (Gal Gadot) explains she is a princess of the Amazons: “My mother sculpted me from clay, and I was brought to life by Zeus.” That is EXACTLY what we are looking for in the next Tory leader! Plus the ability to leap 50feet into the air and fire off three arrows simultaneously while upside down.
Diana’s magic lassoo wraps itself around suspects and forces them to confess the true error of their ways. That could come in handy for getting Rasputin and Lady Macbeth to fess up about the sinister hold they had over Mrs May. By bringing about world peace in a distinctly un-corbynite fashion, and making us smile as she does so, this heroine is the perfect antidote to Tory blues. From Blunder Woman to Wonder Woman.