Bitter row over neckwear has MPS at each other’s throats
Brexit? That’s nothing. A trifle. A mere storm in a teacup. In the House of Commons, battle is raging over an even more contentious issue. Ties.
Yes, a whole week after the Speaker decreed that it was no longer mandatory for a male MP to wear a tie, sartorial traditionalists and modernisers continue to slug it out with blistering bitterness. Yesterday the subject was even raised in, of all places, the monthly Q&A session on international trade.
“You will be delighted to learn, Mr Speaker,” growled Peter Bone – Tory MP for Wellingborough, and standardbearer for the pro-tie cause – “that British tie manufacturers make millions of pounds in exports. Could the Secretary of State suggest how this House could help promote the wearing of ties, to increase exports?”
Liam Fox, the International Trade Secretary, replied stoutly that he and his ministers would “lead by example”.
“This,” he added proudly, indicating his own tie, “was made in England!”
To prove it, he lifted the tie and pointed at its label. Traditionalists
‘If British ties are so popular I’m sure it won’t be necessary to compel people to wear them’
bayed their approval. John Bercow, the Speaker, hopped crossly to his feet. “If [British ties] are so popular,” he sniffed, “I’m sure it won’t be necessary to compel people to wear them.” Traditionalists glared.
Tom Brake – Lib Dem MP for Carshalton & Wallington, and ringleader of the anti-tie uprising – protested that the establishment was conspiring to undermine the democratic rights of the tieless.
“You may not have heard, Mr Speaker,” he piped indignantly, his shirt collar yawning wide, “but on Monday the Minister of State for Transport [John Hayes] said he was not going to take interventions in debates from anybody who is not wearing a tie.”
Traditionalists cheered. “Put a tie on, then!” hooted one.
Mr Brake ignored them. Didn’t prejudice of this kind, he beseeched the Speaker, put the Commons on “a slippery slope”? Traditionalists jeered.
The Speaker shushed them. “In so far as I could be said to have received an application from [Mr Hayes] for the role of style policeman,” he sighed, “I can tell honourable members that I have filed his application in the appropriate place.”
Traditionalists muttered darkly. Their message was clear. Let Mr Brake and his rebels be in no doubt: in the struggle to uphold aesthetic custom, the traditionalists will never surrender. Years from now, long after Brexit is settled, I suspect we shall still find Mr Bone at Mr Brake’s throat. Unlike Mr Brake’s tie.