Midlife guide to... Xennials

What fresh hell is this? Hold that cynicism. Like a Starbucks cup, this has got your name all over it. How so? You were born between 1977 and 1983, weren’t you? And you’re always aggrieved at being lumped into the “entitled millennials” bracket that everyone loves to hate. Well, you now have your own micro-generation – the Xennials. Wow. I always knew I was different from those awful millennials with their social media obsession and unwarranted selfconfidence. It’s good to have it confirmed by a new, made-up term. But what does it mean, apart from that I’m in my mid-30s, which I already knew? It means you remember a time before the internet. An age of innocence before mobile phones, when there were four TV channels and cassette tapes for your Take That recordings (off the radio, with a DJ talking over the Lulu bit). You played the most basic computer games (when basic meant Basic). You had a Hotmail account. There was no Tinder. Wasn’t it great? It kind of was, actually. I never had to Snapchat a selfie sext when I was young. I just had to know what was happening in

Home and Away and make sure my Tamagotchi didn’t die. I guess it was those heavy responsibilities that shaped me. Yes, you and multiple millions of others.

But take note: Dan Woodman, associate professor of Sociology at the University of Melbourne, who has popularised the Xennial label, has cautioned against bland generalisations based on when someone was born. What a killjoy. I bet he doesn’t know any of the words to the Fresh Prince

of Bel-air rap…