THE 10 THINGS WE CAN EX­PECT FROM THE FE­MALE DOC­TOR WHO

The Daily Telegraph - - Features -

So, what changes will we see un­der the first dou­ble-xed Doc­tor in Who­vian his­tory? No leaks as yet but, says Lucy Man­gan, the pos­si­bil­i­ties in­clude: 1

Pre-cred­its se­quence of her wearily ex­plain­ing to every­one she meets that, no, it’s not “Nurse Who” 2

…and why, al­though she’s 897 years old, she’s not ex­plor­ing IVF yet 3

Once ev­ery four episodes she blows up ev­ery planet she damn well pleases, as well as any­one who’s ever cracked a joke about how badly she parks the Tardis 4 She will look less like your grandma than Peter Ca­paldi did. And she will also be wear­ing more prac­ti­cal work clothes. Any­one se­ri­ous about sav­ing gal­ax­ies does not fanny about with three­piece vel­vet suits, droopy cuffs and ruf­fled shirts. 5

We’ve never seen the Doc­tor’s bed­room, but we know that from now on the sheets will be changed more than once in a Gal­lifreyan moon 6

The se­ries will be recorded at twice the cur­rent vol­ume so it can still be heard over the sound of fu­ri­ous typ­ing by even more fu­ri­ous

man­ba­bies rag­ing about a Tardis full of bras, and how sonic screw­drivers are be­ing re­placed by he­lio­cen­tric hair­grips 7

More aware mem­bers of the com­mu­nity will try to defuse the ten­sion by won­der­ing whether hav­ing two hearts means she also has four boobs 8

Pro­gramme vol­ume will then dip dur­ing a pe­riod of si­lence that fol­lows this last thought 9

Ev­ery episode to be 20min­utes shorter, thanks to new Doc­tor’s abil­ity to mul­ti­task. And ev­ery se­ries to be three episodes shorter be­cause,

once van­quished, foes stay van­quished be­cause it’s quicker just to do the job prop­erly the first time than have to keep com­ing back again and again 10

End cred­its show­ing Jodie Whit­taker hav­ing a restora­tive gin and a fag with Won­der

Woman’s Gal Gadot and

Star Trek’s Kate Mul­grew and Jen­nifer Lawrence, play­ing Who’s Been Tweeted the Great­est False Equiv­a­lency To­day game. Whit­taker wins ev­ery time, with an on­line com­men­ta­tor ask­ing “Why not a fe­male re­place­ment for Ant Mcpartlin in Ant & Dec?”

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