Mocked, but definitely not enfeebled, the Chancellor snaps

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In a series of blistering front pages over the weekend, anonymous Cabinet figures told the press the following: that the Chancellor thinks public-sector workers are overpaid; that he believes driving a train is so easy that “even” a woman could do it; that he’s plotting to “frustrate” Brexit; and that he treats colleagues “like dirt”.

As a result, Theresa May has ordered her Cabinet not to leak any more unflattering stories about Mr Hammond. So, if you’ve been wondering whether ministers still respect Mrs May’s authority, you’ll probably find out very soon.

Yesterday, Mr Hammond was in the Commons for his monthly questions about the economy. Inevitably, his treatment by colleagues was raised too. In fact, he raised it himself.

Catherine Mckinnell (Lab, Newcastle upon Tyne North) asked “what conversations the Chancellor has had with the Transport Secretary” about funding an upgrade of the Tyne & Wear Metro. “As she will know,” replied Mr Hammond drily, “I take a very clear view about the confidentiality of conversations between Cabinet ministers.” Some Labour MPS were gleeful. One managed to squeeze a gag about Mr Hammond’s career prospects into a question about solar panels.

“Mr Speaker, the sun might be going down on the Chancellor’s time in Number 11,” began Christian Matheson (Lab, City of Chester), “but it still remains an important source of energy and income for 44,000 micro-generators…”

Even when Mr Hammond offered an olive branch to Labour, he was mocked. “On our exit from the EU,” he told them, “I welcome any opportunity to build consensus across the House.” Mary Creagh (Lab, Wakefield) raised an eyebrow. “How is his consensusbuilding going around the Cabinet table?” she asked.

She did not receive a reply. Sometimes, silence is the wisest response. When Peter Dowd, a shadow minister, derided him as “an enfeebled Chancellor”, Mr Hammond’s patience ran out. “I have to tell you,” he retorted, “I don’t feel particularly enfeebled!”

It’s an old rule of politics that you never repeat your opponent’s criticism. Doing so not only suggests that your opponent has rattled you, but ensures that the criticism attracts even more attention than before.

Also, the more vehemently you dispute the criticism, the more people will suspect that there’s something in it.

It’s a bit like taking out a full-page advert in a newspaper to inform the nation that you don’t have bad breath.

For all the good it did him, then, Mr Hammond might as well have added, “And I’m not boring, either! My mum says I’m actually very interesting! She watched my last Budget speech, and stayed awake almost to the end!”