You said what?

Can it matter if one of our children uses a “vulgar” term, such as toilet instead of lavatory, serviette instead of napkin? Who made up these rules? Certainly not Nancy Mitford, by contributing to the U and Non-u rules set out in

Noblesse Oblige in 1956. For centuries, to speak like a lady or gentleman had been to imitate the gentry, and courtesy had been behaviour fit for court. So when Tatler says, as it does today, that it is quite all right, if you fail to hear a remark, to use the non-u “Pardon?” instead of “What?”, the magazine must intend to provoke, as it did last year by endorsing

toilet. Toilet was such a shibboleth to the aspirant that it sounded as rude as a four-letter word. Yet surely newer ugly terms have grown like weeds:

gobsmacked, perhaps, or asking for a coffee with a “Can I get ..?” That does deserve the reply: “What?”