Relax, Theresa, or you’ll look like a waxwork

Theresa May is to have her likeness reproduced by Madame Tussauds – which leads me to wonder whether this will be the first time a waxwork has looked more lifelike than its human model.

I don’t mean this maliciously. When pictures emerged yesterday of a greyscale clay bust of May’s head, I did a genuine double-take after mistaking it for a black-and-white photograph of our esteemed prime minister.

Mrs May has had such a problem communicating that she’s been dubbed the “Maybot” for her inability to spout anything other than generic phrases about “getting on with the job” in almost every television appearance since the dawn of time. It has been increasingly painful watching various journalists trying to get her to admit to possessing actual feelings without fearing she might short-circuit.

In the aftermath of the disappointing general election result, each exchange acquired the intensity of a Gestapostyle interview: “TELL US WHERE THE TEARS WENT, AGENT MAY, AND YOU’LL GET OUT ALIVE.”

I appreciate her dilemma. Female politicians are in a tricky spot. If they cry, they’re deemed weak and fragile. If they don’t cry, they’re heartless.

And then there’s the added concern of any minor slip-up or misquote being beamed around the world on a 24-hour news cycle. It’s no wonder our prime minister occasionally reverts to the pre-programmed phrases that are part of her original factory settings.

Still, I do think there’s a comfortable middle ground. Theresa May doesn’t need to blub on demand, but she can afford to relax, just a little bit. That way, at least we’ll be able to tell the difference between the real her and the one in Madame Tussauds.