Can we learn to delay gratification?

Anticipation is a rare commodity nowadays. We download TV programmes when we want to, rather than waiting to enjoy each episode at the time of broadcast. We’re encouraged to take out loans or pay in instalments so we can have whatever we want straight away, rather than saving the money we’ll need first.

Is this a healthy attitude, or are there benefits if we delay gratification?

Walter Mischel, professor of psychology at Columbia University, tested over 600 children aged four to six in the Sixties and Seventies. He wanted to learn how children cope with the challenge of delaying gratification, and what this ability might predict in terms of their subsequent development.

In the experiment, a child sits at a table and is presented with a tempting treat. The experimenter explains that they may eat the treat straight away if they choose, but if they wait about 15 minutes, they’ll be given two of the treats. The experimenter then leaves the room and the child is recorded. Most of the children find it impossible to wait the full 15 minutes to obtain the greater reward, although a sizeable number – about 30 per cent – do.

This procedure is now known as “the marshmallow test”, and it’s been replicated many times all over the world. Furthermore, a number of the children who took part in the original experiments have been followed up. Those who were able to wait for the larger reward have fared better in a number of ways.

As adolescents, the “delayers” were better able to concentrate, plan and handle stress. They were less likely to exhibit anti-social behaviour or to take illegal drugs, and they generally fared better academically. Now in middle age, they tend to have lower BMIS, are less aggressive, and they score more highly on measures of self-worth.

This is good news for those who showed willpower from a young age. But what about everyone else? Can we learn to delay gratification? Leading researchers in the field, such as Mischel and Roy Baumeister at Florida State University, think so.

The secret, according to Mischel, is to practice changing your perception of the object you desire or the course of action you wish to take. You can do this in three ways:

Create distance. Imagine that the desired object has become a photo so it seems far away.

Distract yourself. Instead of focusing what you want, turn your attention to some other inviting thought.

Visualise negative consequences. Imagine graphically how what you crave could harm you. Mischel used this technique to quit smoking. Whenever he craved a cigarette, he called up the image of a man suffering from lung cancer.

It matters little whether you choose just one of these techniques, or alternate between them. Just keep practising and it could mean greater satisfaction and happiness in the long run.