The no-marks of Strictly 2017
Would you let a luridly-dressed stranger waltz into your home and perform a weird pistonlike movement in your living room, all the while murmuring “one, two, three; one, two, three” on loop?
I know I wouldn’t. Then again I’m not a Strictly Come Dancing fan. Which is why I’m a little baffled by the “where are all the Strictly 2017 celebrities?” furore on Twitter. The snatches of the show I’ve caught over the years have hardly been the walk of fame.
“Very disappointed in this line-up so far,” raged one fan. “A snoozefest! There is still time to bag some B-list!”
“It would be great if it actually included a few KNOWN CELEBS,” added another, “cos looking at the list its more like a ‘who are you?’ line-up.”
Firstly, that’s a little offensive to Susan Calman, Simon Rimmer, Joe Mcfadden, the Rev Richard Coles and Davood Ghadami – whoever they are (even I’ve heard of Gemma Atkinson and Mollie King, and I bet Ruth Langsford does a mean samba). And secondly: don’t we Brits love a no mark? Don’t they – whisper it – remind us a little of ourselves?
Give us a break from the same half-dozen A-list faces we are assailed by daily and a chance to formulate fresh judgment about someone we know absolutely nothing about.
Last August social media erupted at the thought of Ed Balls taking part. Nobody wanted him salsa-ing Gangnam Style across their living room. Yet a year later, the man’s a national treasure. My, don’t we have short memories?