Boots: how high will you go? The thigh really is the limit this winter
‘You’ll need a wingwoman to help you pull the things off ’
We all felt the pinch this week. That nip of autumn in the air, the darkening evening, the irrepressible urge to light a fig candle, put a throw on the sofa and turn your thoughts towards the big question of our times. Boots. How are we all going to handle boots this winter?
Because this season it is not a mere matter of Chelsea or hiking, block heel or cone heel, but rather, how far are you prepared to go? How high up the thigh? We’re talking long boots. L-o-n-g. Are you up for it?
It’s all fresh meat to me, mind. I’ve never worn a thigh-high boot in my life. I grew up in the Eighties and Nineties and saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Samantha Fox permanently channelling Prince Charming. It’s hard to un-remember these things. Factor in a good six to eight years of Friday and Saturday nights in Blockbuster Video contemplating the cover of Pretty Woman, which did nothing positive for my opinion of the accessory, no matter how much heart Julia Roberts’ hooker had.
So I feel like I’ve really worked through some stuff to be at the place I’m currently in, which is not simply reconsidering the thigh-high boot but willingly trying it on. Such is the power of suggestion when it comes from the likes of the Valentino and Isabel Marant autumn/winter collections.
Some readjustment has taken place, though. Some restyling. In its new role the over-the-knee boot is less whipcracking, attentionseeking principal boy and more beautiful and useful member of the chorus. Forget Kinky Boots and Charlie Price’s cry to his factory workers: “You are making 2.5 feet of irresistible, tubular, SEX!”
This is the high boot as a demure layering tool. Rather than worn over a tight pair of denims or with a micro-mini à la
Kim Kardashian, they’re something practical to fill the gap so unhelpfully provided by waterfall hem dresses. Think of them as an opportunity to add colour and texture to the autumnal, Seventies-style look of this season. Simply a warmer, more substantial, more luxurious, more on trend and much more expensive version of a pair of opaque tights. What’s not to like?
This is why I was prepared to lock myself into The Daily Telegraph’s fashion cupboard this week. Just me, a mirror and 12 pairs of over-the-knee boots. I tell you, we had a scream. Quite the workout, too. Negotiating your way into a dozen pairs of suede, leather, crushed velvet extra-long boots proved the equivalent of a high-intensity interval training session. I emerged breathless and sweating, slightly dizzy.
Over-the-knee boot shopping is not a style challenge to take on lightly. Not, of course, in the same nihilistic league as bikini buying, but on a level or possibly worse than looking for jeans. If you are considering it, you are going to have to prepare. An entire afternoon is required and you are a mad person if you attempt it in a busy town centre or shopping mall on a Saturday. Also, you’re going to need backup, a wingwoman, a boot boy even, to help you pull the things off. I got lodged in a pair of Charlotte Olympia’s and thought I was going to have to scream to the newsroom for help.
On this note, do wear tights to enable a frictionless leg exit from warm, clinging leather. And don’t wear, as I did, a long silk maxi dress. I had to tuck the extra volume into my knickers with all the bending down and heaving up involved and Russell & Bromley may well have a problem with this.
Of course, it all sounds horrendous and why would anyone bother etc, but I wouldn’t be wasting your time had the results not been surprisingly good. More comfortable and flattering than I had imagined, the best prove leg-lengthening, which is, as the kids say, goals.
The daddy of them all is Jimmy Choo’s Minerva. Already with a waiting list and at £995 sadly out of my reach, boy are they beautiful. Round toe, block heel, gorgeous leather, the tops stand proud of the knee and finish just above. I like them in forest green but they come in red and black too.
Red is the colour of the season for coats and boots and while high red boots sounds like a distastefully exhibitionist idea, remember you’re going to be wearing them with brown, tan, burgundy and dark purple, rather than over snow-washed skinny jeans.
I like the more sober Russell & Bromley Hi Light in Bordeaux, £345. Avoid a pointed toe unless you want to spend a lot of time going back and forth to the cobblers – a round toe wears less. Likewise block heel versus stiletto.
My favourite flat boot at the more affordable end is Dune’s Taliah, a suede pull-on, with an adjustable toggle for fit. It’s cosy, comfortable enough to wear all day and the gold trim around the heel looks smart. Cosy, comfortable, smart?
That’s why a pair of kinky boots could end up being the most sensible buy of the autumn.