Bursting our bubble

Italians are outraged at the claims made by UK dentists that prosecco rots teeth and harms the gums. They misunderstand the British attitude towards health. Even definitive proof that something is bad for you is no guarantee of a fall in sales, and for every report saying it can do terrible damage there always follows a report that it can prevent heart attacks. It is only a matter of time before a 106-year-old Chinese peasant is found whose diet consists of cigarettes and prosecco.

Also, prosecco will stay popular if it remains a budget alternative to champagne. There has been a long campaign by party hosts to insist that it was bought for the occasion not because it was cheaper but because “it tastes much better. Really. You’d be surprised.” The rumour among champagne makers, however, is that it rots the teeth.