Why ‘silver splicers’ are on the rise

Marriage rates are falling – except, that is, among the over-65s. According to the most recent data from the Office for National Statistics, the number of brides and grooms in that age group went up by 46 per cent in a decade.

An interesting aspect of so-called “silver splicers” is that men, rather than women, are the stronger proponent of later-life marriage.

In 2009, 4,704 men over the age of 65 married, whereas only 2,509 women in this age group did so. By 2014, the figures had risen – 7,005 older men married, compared to 3,932 older women – but the trend remained the same.

Part of the reason for the gender difference is that older men marry younger women more often than older women marry younger men. None the less, these figures raise an interesting question: why do older people choose to remarry? The answer is more straightforward when it comes to men than women.

When Kate Davidson, Sara Arber and colleagues at the Centre for Research on Ageing and Gender at the University of Surrey interviewed widows and widowers about their experience, they found a clear gender divide. Whereas many widowers expressed feelings of loneliness after losing their partner, the widows, although also bereft at their loss, were more likely to remark on a new sense of freedom – freedom from assuming a caring role. They often added that if they were to remarry, they would consider maintaining their own home, rather than a joint marital residence, so they could enjoy time alone as well as with a new partner.

However, a report published earlier this month suggested that one in two divorced and widowed women over the age of 55 who remarried in later life were motivated as much by money and financial security as by love. Forty-five per cent of older women said their decision to remarry was motivated by the right to a portion of their partner’s pension pot if they split, or if their partner died.

Even without the “traditional” marital set-up in later life, the qualities that make for a good relationship don’t appear to have changed. So what are they?

Jacqui Gabb and colleagues at the Open University asked couples of all ages to describe what they value most about their main relationship. Both came up with similar lists, yet neither contained any reference to the amount of time a couple spends together, nor was there mention of a need to share the same address.

Instead, the qualities associated with happy and lasting relationships in later life included open, honest and frequent communication with one another; a sense of mutual trust; sharing at least some similar interests; sharing a sense of humour; and offering small, thoughtful kindnesses to one another such as saying “thank you” – and reminding your partner how much you love them.