Out-smarted

Scene: a bedroom in darkness. Wife: Darling, wake up! There’s a noise downstairs. Husband (drowsily): Don’t you remember, sweetheart, National Grid sent us a text a couple of days ago giving us a time to use the washing-machine? Wife: Well it’s a pity they chose yesterday for our ironing ration. If we use the iron later today, it’ll cost us a fortune. Husband: No point moaning. Whose idea was it to get a smart meter in the first place? Wife: Oh, no! The neighbours are banging on the wall again, just as it’s begun the spin cycle. Husband:

That’s good from them, when they were saving a bill penalty last week by doing the washing-up at 5am. Wife: Well, we might as well get up now, the toaster’s due to come on in 20 minutes. And you’ve got to be back home early today as the shower’s set for teatime. It was either that or the kettle.