Crude and lewd – our tourist shame
Heathen – now there’s a good old-fashioned word for you. I haven’t heard anyone say “You’re raising heathens” since my grandparents were alive. But heathen is what sprang to mind when I read about those British newlyweds on Rhodes.
Matthew and Carly Lunn decided to mark their nuptials by posing in front of the beautiful beachside monastery of St Paul in Lindos. Who could blame Matthew, 27, and Carly, 34, for wanting to immortalise their precious day in that most ravishing of settings?
Unfortunately, the ravishing was not confined to the landscape. The couple took a photo of themselves apparently performing a sex act. The bride (not blushing, though she jolly well should have been) was kneeling in her wedding dress in front of the groom who had his trousers and pants around his ankles and his arm raised in triumph. They say they were just pretending; however, it’s an image which, once seen, is not easily forgotten. The Lunns, from Birmingham, posted it on Facebook as “a joke to reflect their cheeky sense of humour”.
One man not seeing the funny side is Bishop Kyrillos of Rhodes. The island’s most senior prelate has banned all foreign marriages at the monastery, throwing the plans of hundreds of British couples into disarray. Giorgos Eleftheriou, president of the local Lindos community, said: “We are Greek and we cherish our traditions and the sanctity of our religious sites. We cannot allow this disgusting behaviour to prevail. Shame on those two. Would they have done the same in their homeland?”
I regret to cause further distress to Mr Eleftheriou, but the answer to his question is a pained yes. It goes without saying that Matthew and Carly Lunn are stupid, vulgar and disrespectful. Being young and British, they are also dismayingly ignorant about religion. Steeped in a narcissistic porn culture, they see nothing wrong with using a holy place as a backdrop for a quick shag. As far as they are concerned, Rhodes is just another X-rated Love Island.
I simply don’t believe that an equivalent couple from France,
Heathens from Rude Britannia spread disgust when they travel
Spain, Italy, Poland, Germany or Greece itself, would behave in such a vile, trashy manner.
The precipitous decline of faith in Britain (53 per cent now describe themselves as having no religious affiliation, and that figure is much lower among young people) has created a howling vacancy where morality used to be. Of course, you don’t need to be a believer to know how to behave. But having right and wrong drilled into you did mean that newlyweds in the past never marked the climax of their big day by yelling: “Let’s have a blow job in front of the church for a laugh!”
I’m afraid that Matthew and Carly Lunn are prime examples
of the New Barbarians. Crass, heathen emissaries from Rude Britannia, they spread fear and disgust wherever they travel abroad. To its credit, abroad has started fighting back. Hotel owners in Malia, Crete, have turned away 10,000 UK bookings to rid themselves of debauched stag and hen parties. Cretans say they have had enough of wild “sex, drugs and anything goes” Brits and are hoping to reinvent Malia as a respectable holiday destination for Austrian and Dutch families. Meanwhile, Barcelona is raising prices to keep sleazier British tourists away.
A friend of Carly Lunn says she is “mortified” about what happened. Hmmmm. She’s only mortified because people are now criticising her and her husband. As New Barbarians, the Lunns lack that inbuilt sense their parents and grandparents had of what constitutes decent conduct. Literally shameless, they could not care less about causing offence to Greeks who are raised in an enviably traditional society.
I feel ashamed. Ashamed that young Britons have a growing international reputation as slappers and sots. Ashamed that a sacred Greek place was desecrated by a pair of louts. You don’t have to be of the Mary Whitehouse tendency to feel that permissive society has given itself just a bit too much permission to let it all hang out. It’s disgusting, not liberating.
What can be done about Rude Britannia’s marauding hordes? I suggest the Lunns are sent back to Rhodes pronto to face charges of public indecency or, even better, for a one-to-one session with Bishop Kyrillos. He’d put the fear of God into the heathen pair. Failing that, the Middle East is an attractive holiday destination for couples who are relaxed about having sex in public.