Don’t like your other half ’s work dos? Draft in a body double!

Hello, Melania? Is that you hiding behind those enormoshades and deliberately not saying a word?

I’m just checking, you see, because there’s a conspiracy theory going around that Mrs Trump has employed a body double to stand by her husband’s side when he’s out and about.

Truthfully, I don’t care if it’s fake news: I just love the idea of a fake Melania. The twittersphere is madly chirruping about the fact that Melania mark 2 is a professional lookalike in a prosthetic nose and a wig.

Either that, or she’s a Russian robot wearing shades to hide her cold, dead eyes. I don’t know which it is. I don’t want to know. But I am certain that there’s definitely mileage in the idea of a body double wife or husband. Just now and then.

Imagine it: no more tedious work dinners listening to your other half ’s boss droning on about core competencies.

And wouldn’t it be nice to attend parties with a chap who likes to dance? Who was paid or, indeed, programmed to dance?

I can think of no better boost to the average marriage than a little time off from the tyranny of plus-one invitations.

Who could blame Melania for drafting in a doppelgänger? Not I. The only flak she’ll get from me is if she doesn’t seize her chance and head for the hills.