Her ladyship shopping in Morrisons is a form of cosmic comeuppance
How much are we all loving the story of Lady Somerleyton, who mislaid her diamond-encrusted emerald pendant while out shopping in the Lowestoft branch of Morrisons?
It’s all there: the aristocrat (tick!), the decadent bijou (tick!), the supermarket run (tickety tick!).
Apparently, the wife of Hugh Crossley, 4th Baron Somerleyton, had popped on her best Art Deco gewgaw for the school run – her priceless diadem must have been in the wash – and when she popped into Morrisons, it must have fallen off. Quelle horreur.
I’m not sure why I’m speaking French, but the argot of the sans-culottes somehow just feels right whenever the ancien régime is getting its cosmic comeuppance. Anyway, I digress.
Of all these details it is Morrisons that hit home; it’s just so Alan Bennett.
If it had been
Waitrose, we would have felt PLU sympathy. If she shrewdly picked up her groceries at Aldi, it would have prompted respect. Marks & Spencer would have left us neutral.
But Morrisons is just so fabulously suburban. So why was her ladyship there?
Early mince pies? Had she heard about its new “wonky” veg box scheme? Or maybe she was stocking up on its £8 “Best white burgundy”? As all Lowestoft oenophiles know, earlier this year it came second in the prestigious
Decanter World Wine Awards, and was only beaten to the top slot by the £375 Albert Bichot Criots-batard-montrachet.
So I expect that’s where store staff should look first as they comb the shop floor and value-pack foie gras for Lady Somerleyton’s sentimental treasure.
There’s a “cash reward” for whoever effects its safe return to the 5,000-acre family seat. Let’s hope the lucky finder gets enough for a couple of bottles of Montrachet, rather than own-brand burgundy.