Celia Walden
Terrifying men is no way forward for women
At The Wrap’s Power Women Breakfast in Hollywood last Thursday, every guest was handed a “survivor solidarity” bow to pin to their chest. A dozen Harvey Weinstein “survivors” had turned up to the prestigious quarterly event in Beverly Hills, a dozen women who had been preyed upon by the movie mogul over the course of his 33-year sexual rampage through the industry – and not one was prepared to call herself a victim.
We’ve all read the accounts, but listening to these women describe what they went through, with a man whom actress and survivor Claire Forlani cleverly likened to “the Henry VIII” of Hollywood and “King of the Court”, was an important reminder that before the #Metoo bandwagon bred a mistrust in the women speaking out and their motivations, these assaults were very real, and the systemic culture of sexism in Hollywood more grotesque than anything I could have imagined.
Zoe Brock, a former model, claimed that what happened to her was nothing short of “sex trafficking.” Taken to the 1997 Cannes Film Festival “as fresh meat” for Weinstein, she explained how she was placed beside him at a dinner (although it might as well have been on a plate) before being whisked off by his friends, “who were like a pack of wolves”, to the hotel where she was assaulted. Forlani described crawling out of a hotel room meeting with the Hollywood producer “on my hands and knees, because Harvey’s a grabber”, and, rather than introduce herself to the room, Lauren Sivan, a Fox News reporter, instructed anyone who didn’t already know who she was to google “Weinstein and plant pot.” Alongside campaigning to end sexual harassment within the industry, Sivan was thinking of “becoming the voice for all the potted plants” who had been subjected to such treatment.
The powerful women of Hollywood were unanimous both in their studious avoidance of the breakfast bakery baskets and their demands: never again should women be silenced, never again should sexual bullying and assault be shrugged off as “normal” – and in terms of jobs and opportunities
“we want 50/50 by 2020.” How every historical imbalance within the industry can be redressed in the space of two years I don’t know, but I’m nodding and clapping furiously, caught up in the heady atmosphere of sisterly empowerment when Forlani addresses the room: “Don’t you feel men are already getting scared? They’re questioning what they do and say. It’s quite positive.” Which is greeted with a low-level cheer, and a burst of applause from a woman behind me. “Hell yeah,” she heckles. Hell no. No I don’t think terrifying men into silence is the way forward, and although Forlani makes a good point, the reaction to it terrifies me. Because yes, predators like Weinstein should be made to think twice before they lunge, slobber and desecrate potted plants, but no, not every man should be punished for his crimes. We’d only be punishing ourselves into the bargain. After all, men are not the enemy but the people with whom we coexist: our sons, nephews, brothers, fathers and grandfathers, our friends, lovers and husbands. Take away the humour and the banter, take away the ease and naturality of that coexistence and you create a sexual apartheid that moves us back, not forward. Any one of the dozen survivors in that room could tell you that, over time, intimidation and fear turn into anger and resentment. We don’t want men feeling that way. It won’t redress past injustices or level the playing field – just make it that little bit harder to get to where we want to be.