Midlife guide to...

…weekendvy

Get up to much this weekend?

Did I? Spent Saturday night on the razz after a swanky dinner, went rock climbing, saw the latest Spielberg blockbuster and learnt the rudiments of Swahili.

And there was me thinking unpacking my Ocado delivery had been exhausting. Hang on, did you really do all that? Or have you come down with a case of weekendvy?

Weekend what?

Haven’t you heard? It’s a veritable epidemic. More than half of British workers now spend the start of their weeks lying to colleagues about all of the wild things they did while out of the office – all of which are entirely fictional.

Well, that doesn’t apply to me...

Naturally. On an entirely unrelated note, the 2,000-strong survey found that painting the town red was the most popular fib reported back to colleagues of a Monday morning, with participating in an adventurous activity, going to the cinema and doing a course also making the top 10.

Those poor people, feeling the need to lie about their tumbleweed weekends. Lucky that my free time is such a richly adorned tapestry, I needn’t resort to fibs.

Goes without saying. But for those whose social lives are less stuffed to the rafters, bragging about their “eventful” leisure time is part of an inherent need to be perceived as an “interesting, adventurous and fun-loving individual”. Looking cool was so important to a fifth of those polled that they now tailor their weekend plans according to what will look most impressive when posted on social media.

Well, that’s just hashtag embarrassing.