Modern parents must man up. We are too soft on our children

When was the last time you took a day off work because you had a cough, or a cold? Probably never. Just bought some Lemsip and sat quietly at your desk. Maybe you sloped home slightly earlier than usual. But you got on with it.

When it comes to our offspring, however, it seems that the merest hint of a sniffle is enough to keep them snugly at home, cuddled up in a blanket on the sofa watching Cbeebies. That, at least, appears to be the case in East Sussex, where the council has become so frustrated with the number of pupil absences that it has launched a series of adverts targeted at parents, with slogans such as “Get a grip. Most parents do. No excuse for missing school”, and “Good reasons for missing school – there are none”. The story made me laugh, and inwardly cheer, although predictably it has drawn outrage from local parents, who are now petitioning for the campaign to be withdrawn.

Why take such offence? Because, secretly, we know we can be soft when it comes to our kids. We are a mollycoddling lot, we 21st-century parents. We hover over our children’s every move, are generally terrified of everything that might cause them even a modicum of harm.

We are certainly terrible at saying no to them (perhaps because the exhaustion of battling out the consequences just isn’t worth it). So when they look a little peaky in the morning, and say they don’t really feel like going to school, the temptation is always to give in. And besides, we quite like using their “illness” as an excuse to cuddle up together and have a duvet day.

I confess, last week, I broke. My four-year-old was so unbelievably exhausted and horrible that, as we were battling the maelstrom of bikes, school bags and buggy to get out of the door, him having a full-blown meltdown, the clock ticking grimly on towards lateness, I snapped and let him stay at home (to enjoy a quiet morning with our nanny and the baby). I then had to spend the walk to school explaining to my outraged six-year-old that, despite his own “earache”, he didn’t have a temperature, had eaten a hearty breakfast and, moreover, it was the law for him to be educated at his age, whereas for his younger brother, still at nursery, that was not yet the case.

Generally speaking though, my children go to school – or nursery – whatever they look, or feel like. Temperature nudging towards the forties? A dose of Calpol and he’ll be fine. Feeling sick? As long as you haven’t actually vomited, you have to go.

I once dropped a decidedly wobbly-looking six-year-old at school; when I picked him up, the teacher told me, in somewhat reproving tones, that he had not been at all well that morning. Luckily, lunch had perked him up, and by 3pm he was roaring around again.

Because, the reality is, our children are pretty resilient. Schools, nurseries and childminders are breeding grounds for germs – if we all kept our children home every time they so much as sneezed, our teachers would be lecturing to empty classrooms.

A couple of weeks ago, our household went down, one by one, with a winter vomiting bug. Except for me. Clearly years of being sent to school regardless strengthened my immune system. We modern parents need to man up when it comes to childhood illness. Down with duvet days, I say.