Count the shadow chancellor out when it comes to talking numbers

Now here’s an original excuse. Yesterday morning on the Today programme, Mishal Husain asked John Mcdonnell how much it would cost to service the national debt under Labour. Rather than answer, however, the shadow chancellor scolded her. Asking about numbers, he tutted, was “trite”.

Numbers were for “ipads and advisers”. Instead of numbers, journalists should be focusing on “the reality”.

What an ingenious reply. I wish I’d thought to use it at school. “Deacon! What are six eights?” “Really, Miss. That is a trite form of teaching. Quite frankly, this obsession with numbers turns many pupils off arithmetic altogether. Let’s look at the bigger picture – which is that, under the next Labour government, six times eight will be substantially higher. We aim to raise six eights to 51 by 2023, and to as much as 60 by 2025. The sad fact is that, under this failing Tory Government, six eights have remained frozen at the same level since 2010. It’s time the Chancellor faced up to the truth: for millions of ordinary schoolchildren, the times tables simply aren’t working any more.”

Later in the Commons, Mr Mcdonnell led Labour’s response to the Budget. The Government was handling the economy so badly, he said, that it should do the decent thing and resign. “It is better to go with a bit of dignity,” he told the Tories, “rather than in humiliating disintegration.”

Noble sentiments, but a little surprising, coming from Mr Mcdonnell. Imagine if Jeremy Corbyn had taken this advice in summer 2016, when 80 per cent of his own MPS (but not Mr Mcdonnell) called on him to resign as Labour leader.

On that occasion, if I recall correctly, Mr Mcdonnell’s view was that it was better not to go with a bit of dignity – indeed, not to go at all. Looking back on it now, this refusal to go with a bit of dignity seems to have worked out quite well for the two of them. Far from resigning, perhaps the Government should take Mr Corbyn as its role model.

Naturally, Mr Mcdonnell wasn’t the only Labour MP to rubbish the Budget.

“How is it logical,” snorted Clive Efford (Lab, Eltham), “to cut stamp duty on houses worth less than £300,000, which will increase the prices of properties – not benefiting first-time buyers, only those who are selling the properties!”

As politely as he could, Sajid Javid – the Communities Secretary – pointed out to Mr Efford that the recent Labour manifesto contained the exact same policy.

Noting this, Peter Heaton-jones (Con, N Devon) wondered whether Labour MPS would now vote down a policy they themselves had been elected on less than six months earlier, simply because the Tories now agreed with it.

Mr Javid suspected they would. “I know Marx once said, ‘Whatever it is, I’m against it’,” he sighed. “But that was Groucho, not Karl.”