How to stand up your style on the slopes
Heading off skiing? Lisa Armstrong suggests ways to avoid being all flash, with no substance
Chris Zylka, an actor, recently proposed to Paris Hilton, a very famous person, by getting down on one knee. Shades of Prince Harry, except Zylka obviously went one better by kneeling on several feet of snow in Aspen, Colorado, whereas Harry was hovering in the vicinity of a roasting chicken in the kitchen.
Respect to Zylka. Anyone can post pictures of their Frankfurter legs from a Caribbean beach, but simply getting on to a slope – compressing yourself into all those layers, the precarious cable cars, even, God forbid, the occasional button-lift, plus the traumas of helmet hair – represents a cataclysm of challenges that require a certain amount of stamina and derring-do. That’s before you attempt a run, let alone a marriage proposal.
On Instagram, Hilton’s social platform of choice, the not-at-allstaged series of snapshots of Zylka mid- and post-question has attracted almost 800,000 likes so far.
Churlishly however, there is some fashion dissent about Hilton’s endless array of metallic ski-wear, studioready make-up and jewelled choker. Someone in The Daily Telegraph’s fashion team even suggested that a fleecy neck-cowl would have been a more sensible choice.
What is the correct etiquette for ski wear, and how much pink lip gloss is permissible en piste?
Partly, this is a question of where you go. In Aspen and Courchevel, France, it is simply not possible to be too shiny, too tanned or too blow-dried. Anywhere more normal – if blowing 20 euros on an omelette and risking your sanity and limbs every half-hour can be described as normality – calls for slightly different tactics. In my early days of skiing (the first 15 years) I was the cautious type, prone to being overtaken by doughy locals walking their dogs on adjacent woodland trails. The upside was that I had plenty of time to observe the sartorial details. These I share freely.
The basics
It starts with layers. Spending £2,500 on a polar all-in-one that would have changed the course of Ernest Shackleton’s personal history is all very well, but there may be many days when the sun is shining, lunch is lingering and your flesh is dissolving into a sweaty slush. Do not take this option. You want flexible mix-andmatch pieces that can be relatively easily peeled off and just as easily plopped back on. For this reason, avoid all thick jumpers, however aesthetically pleasing their snowflake design. Save them for après ski.
Underwear – normal or professional?
Thermal vests from Uniqlo and M&S are the baseline. You’ll pay three times more for “specialist” ski versions in those fancy resort ski shops. Don’t bother. I also pack two to three pairs of Uniqlo’s Heattech leggings – so light and comfortable, you’ll forget you’re wearing them. Proper ski socks – the pricey kind – on the other hand are a revelation: warm and they stop your feet slipping. This actually changed my skiing. Only took me 15 years to discover this fact.
Mid-layers
This is where to invest, in lightweight merino/cotton mix long-sleeved ski T-shirts that will provide that all-essential wicking. Mover and Sweaty Betty are both good options (from £68, mover.eu and from £50, sweatybetty.com).
The snazzy part
Salopettes have had a fashion renaissance on the slopes, but they’re a ridiculous kerfuffle to get in and out of and look yuck on everyone. Stick with the two-piece approach.
I’ve tried fashionably oversized shells, worn over a succession of Uniqlo lightweight down jackets and also thicker, retro-looking ski jackets that don’t require a second liner jacket. Both approaches have their virtues. The former offers maximum versatility – it can get hot in the afternoons, especially later in the season, so it’s essential that you give yourself options. But I love the way a Sixties/seventiesstyled Moncler or Perfect Moment puffy-yet-slim jacket looks.
Buy a purpose-built ski jacket (with a hood). The fashion versions, while cosy, never have pockets in the right places for your ski-pass. Trousers? I love skinny ones. No one under 30 would be seen dead in them. Matchy-matchy can look a bit Paris H. I prefer coordinating. Do not look as though you’ve spent more time on your outfit than your technique.
Adopting style mannerisms above your ability is asking for ridicule
You cannot ski like a teacher, therefore do not dress like one.
Do things up
There’s a reason for all those zips and poppers. They stop stuff falling out, snow getting into your underwear when you fall over (you will fall over) and just because you feel hot after two cups of hot chocolate doesn’t mean you should unfasten your jacket. You will be a flapping, freezing source of mirth before you’re halfway down. Notice how many opportunities there are for scorn on the slopes? Yep, it’s a harsh world in the snow.
Colours? they’re complicated
The light’s different. Endorphins are popping. Ergo orange, scarlet, even lime are going to look unaccountably good and, on children particularly, make them easier to spot. Navy and black are always chic, but not head to toe: you may get mistaken for a blood wagon. Avoid white trousers and jackets – they will look grubby by day two.
The extra bits
Here’s what you actually need. Proper goggles, don’t scrimp. It’s your eyes we’re talking about. Sunglasses, with thick sides on a string (no one said skiing doesn’t have its naff moments). Proper ski gloves, which will cost more than you ever imagined, but will save your fingers from dropping off. Make sure they have clips that you can attach to your jacket. A helmet. Some old-school skiers object to these on principle, but they’re lighter and more comfortable than any beanie. And they may save your brains. Fleecy snood – hideous but vital on a chair lift when it stalls and you’re swinging above a crevice in a force six. (Even so, I prefer silk scarves – prettier and amazingly warm).
To backpack or not
I’m widely mocked for wearing a mini ski backpack – by the very people who later in the day dump all their discarded layers, water bottles and spare contact lenses in mine.
Skincare
Not factor 30, or 40 – total sunblock is a must (is Clinical or Zelens for the non-toxic formulas), ditto a really good lip protector. Anywhere on your body that is exposed – anywhere – will be subjected to intense barbecuing. If you refuse to take the necessary precautions, you will have no one’s sympathy. I like to slather something really occlusive over my serum and moisturiser with SPF – like Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream (£28, elizabetharden. co.uk), especially on cheeks and lips. And I always wear eye cream – Sisley has an eye contour cream specially formulated for skiing (£138, sisleyparis.com).
The pongy lockerroom problem
Communal smells can be quite the assault, particularly in a car. Keep your zone pure with Roadscents. Developed by Tina Gaudoin, a former style editor, they’re designed to eliminate the whiffiest of wet dog smells and teenagers’ cigarettes and leave your car scented like a Frederic Malle counter, but you can use them anywhere. Godsmell is patchouli based. Rose Rage – self-explanatory. Both delicious and £10 from victoriahealth.com.