Play the office psychopath at their own game

Diversity. Don’t we love it? Even if there’s never quite enough of it? Here’s some good news, for a change. All you psychopaths out there, you’re not unemployable after all! An academic study just published claims that the best way for you to get ahead in the workplace is to go find yourself a psychopathic boss.

In this case, like attracts like, so if you are cold, unfeeling and ruthless, you would thrive under a cold and unfeeling and ruthless line manager because when he (or she – let’s not stereotype; we’ve all seen Jennifer Aniston in Horrible

Bosses) belittles you, you won’t care. How great is that?

That’s best for so-called primary psychopaths. Secondary psychopaths are the shouty, uninhibited, impulsive ones, possibly because “secondary” sounds a bit half-hearted, so they’ve got more to prove.

Anyway, if you know which you are, it stands to reason you should search out your tribe. For the rest of us in the office, however, it’s not such a bonanza.

And that’s the trouble with psychopaths. They act as a magnet to other psychopaths, until everyone who possesses a shred of empathy with their fellow man has fallen away, leaving these objectionable people either to

inherit the earth or cause a repeat of the 2008 sub-prime mortgage crisis.

If you’ve read Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to

Work, you will know they also have charisma, superficial charm and are highly manipulative. They have the attributes of born leaders, hence they go into leadership roles.

So what to do when you suspect your boss is one? You should pretend to be one, too.

Practice not being fazed. If they ask personal questions, switch the conversation around to them. Comment on how they look stressed (they hate that, as it implies you have observed a frailty in them).

If they stand over your desk menacingly, relax into your chair until you are almost horizontal, indicating you don’t feel threatened. Carry on typing as you speak to them, to show how unimportant they are. Shrug impassively.

And, while they plot your character assassination, find a new job.