‘THIS ISN’T SOMETHING I’LL REGRET’: NICK COCKER, 33

I was working as a management consultant at a multinational accountancy firm when my wife, Julia, went into induced labour with our first child, Eloise, last April. It was two weeks before her due date, so I took my two weeks’ paternity leave immediately after the birth, followed by an extra two weeks of holiday I had saved up.

A week before Eloise was born, Julia had started her first three months’ maternity leave with full pay, before another three months after that with half pay. She then also took off months six to nine with only statutory pay.

I kept up with what was going on at home through a Whatsapp group we had set up during the pregnancy – Julia would post pictures and videos of our baby girl to our parents and sisters, as well as me, stuck in the office. On weekdays I would be lucky to get home before Eloise had been put to bed, so I only really got to see her on weekends.

I had gone for a drink with colleagues when one of the guys told me about his experience of taking shared parental leave. It turned out our company offered 16 weeks parental leave, fully paid during a child’s first year. I consulted HR, and would recommend others who are unsure of company policy do the same – it’s a “soft” benefit that many might not even realise they’re entitled to.

I know men my age might worry about the impact taking leave will have on their careers but, in the long term, this isn’t something I’ll regret. I’m not going to look back when I’m older and think: ‘Why on earth did I spend three months off with my baby daughter?’

I’m currently a month and a half in, and loving it: much as I enjoy my work, it’s amazing to be around for this time in Eloise’s life. She isn’t quite walking and she’s making a lot of noises but not yet speaking, so watching her develop day by day, first-hand, rather than via message, is magical.