WEDDING GUEST ETIQUETTE THE OTHER BURNING QUESTIONS

Should I invite family before friends?

Even if your outfit is Debrett’sapproved, there are still plenty of pitfalls to avoid.

Typically, family comes first. With a certain degree of acceptance, the bride and groom invite their closest friends, then hand over the guest list to their parents to fill in the blanks with relatives who “ought” to be there.

These days, however, happy couples are fighting back. Why invite great-aunt Mildred (last spotted circa 2003) when your university housemate still sees you every week? Or your personal trainer? Or your dog?

Debrett’s says: “The couple should actively want their guests to be there [but] familial repercussions also need to be borne in mind. A certain number of invitations should be allocated to each set of parents.”

What are the rules on gifts?

The days of long lists from a middle-class department store are almost over. Now, it is more popular for the happy couple to ask for either a donation to a charity of choice (and in Meghan and Harry’s case, there are a lot close to their hearts) or a financial contribution to their honeymoon. Alternatively, guests can get creative – in 2011, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s gifts included a bag of salt and a marzipan model of Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate.

Debrett’s suggests that Meghan and Harry might opt for the charitable option: “Given their shared commitment to charitable causes, they might choose charity favours – usually small pin badges that represent a donation made on behalf of each guest,” says the guide.

What about the plus ones?

It’s as big a headache for the bride and groom as it is for the attendees. Do you let guests bring a partner?

And if you are a guest generously given a plusone, is it OK to bring them if the couple might not know them?

In 2011, it was reported that hundreds of well-known royal wedding guests were put-out that they had to attend the Duke and Duchess’s wedding alone – but the couple were arguably just following tradition.

According to Debrett’s, traditionally, if you weren’t known by the bride’s mother, you did not get an invitation to the wedding. Fortunately for Doria Raglan, Meghan’s Californian yoga teacher mum, that has all changed.