Taking your pup to the pictures is barking mad
Oh My Dog! So, whose idea was it to invite four-legged patrons into cinemas?
Apparently it’s now a thing. A barking mad thing. And I say this as a dog owner who spends many a Saturday night lounging on the sofa blissfully entwined with eight paws and a couple of wet noses while the children gaze up enviously from the floor.
Picturehouse Piccadilly in central London has been holding regular screenings for owners and their canine best friends for the past year.
And this weekend, 15 Picturehouses across the
country will be welcoming the waggy-tailed brigade in their droves to watch Isle of
Dogs, an animated film by Wes Anderson.
I was actually invited along, with my two Manchester terriers Otto and Mabel, but I declined as they would prefer The Good, the Bad and the Pugly.
Oh, and they are liable to behave atrociously at the sight of nachos; nobody wants a spittle-flecked orgy of fur and corn tortilla shards in the Pullman seats.
Meanwhile, for nicely behaved dogs, the volume will be turned down to avoid stress, the auditorium will only be
half-full so the pooches won’t get territorial and blankets over the seats will trap the dog hair.
It’s all marvellously accommodating, but I still can’t see the point and I sincerely hope it doesn’t catch on.
Maybe your average millennial really can’t get through a late-night screening of Tomb Raider without an emotional support animal, but that’s just tough.
The notion that trotting your pooch off to the cinema is somehow a bonding experience is also a bit one-sided.
Dogs, particularly in cities, are increasingly being treated like accessories: French bulldogs hauled around coffee shops, whippets taken to the pub and cockapoos almost trampled underfoot at the local farmer’s market.
Yes, some dogs like to watch Wimbledon (the balls!) or
Supervet (the horror!), but I would hazard a guess that two hours and 15 minutes of Black
Panther isn’t a Bedlington’s idea of a grand day out.
Sharing your life with a loved one should be about compromise. So why don’t these dogs get more say in the itinerary?
Sometimes you’ve just got to take the hit, cancel the matinee and spend the afternoon in the park, followed by a good old rootle round the back of the kebab shop. It’s what any best friend would do.