Thanks Facebook, I now know why I voted for Brexit

The Remain campaign was a giant fix, a tampered ball that went wrong

Ah, so now I know what caused me to vote Leave. “Dark and dystopian” forces from Cambridge Analytica (CA) used Facebook data to build up a picture of my habits and preferences. Suffolk coastal cottages, wishing a happy birthday to my friend Jane, a keen interest in the music of Earth, Wind & Fire, dog food for sensitive tummies, liking a performance of The Importance of

Being Earnest. Crucial, stolen insights such as these were supposedly used to build up a Pearson personality profile so those dark dystopian forces could achieve “informational dominance” in my life. Once I was in their thrall, CA could wage psychological warfare, targeting me with political messages which would convince me that the European Union was undemocratic and authoritarian when, as any sane person knows, it’s absolutely blooming marvellous. Good to have that cleared up, isn’t it?

According to a conspiracy theory started by The Observer newspaper after it was contacted by a whistleblower, Brexit was “delivered” by this sinister “voter-manipulation” effort. Yes, really. Nothing to do with millions of people weighing up the pros and cons and deciding that, on balance, they’d rather not have their country’s affairs dictated by the cognac-soaked Jean-claude Juncker and his amusingly corrupt cronies. Not at all. According to dismayed Remainers, such a terrible decision by the British people can only be explained by dirty tricks, brainwashing and the Leave campaign cheating by evading the legal spending cap.

I hate to add to the daft conspiracy theories, but can it really be a coincidence that all this comes out just as we get a transition deal and European nations are making positive noises about a possible free-trade agreement? Tomorrow, exactly 12 months until the UK formally bids Brussels farewell, Theresa May will do a whistle-stop tour of the UK, making the case for an exciting future as an independent country. The latest opinion poll indicates that 57per cent of people want the Government to just get on with implementing Brexit.

Arch Remainers may still hope that Brexit can be thwarted – “if we leave the EU…” Lord Patten said on the

Today programme yesterday – but the prospect of an arrogant elite prevailing against the democratic will of the people is diminishing week by week.

First, they tried saying that we were too pig-ignorant to know what we were voting for. Now, they claim that we were manipulated by online propaganda. That’s strange. Wasn’t it older people who swung the referendum in Leave’s favour and aren’t the old least likely to be active on social media?

Besides, social scientists are pretty unanimous that, even if you have access to someone’s digital footprint (no, you can’t wipe it with Flash and a mop, Marjorie), you can only learn so much about them. And the effects of targeting consumers using personality data are very small. In one well-known study, researchers targeted adverts based on personality to more than 1.5million people; the result was about 100 additional purchases of beauty products compared to advertising without targeting. Trying to change political behaviour is even harder than shifting moisturiser.

Naturally, it suits The Observer and Channel 4 among others to present Cambridge Analytica as some slick psychometric persuasion machine. The likelihood is they’re nothing more than a bunch of snake-oil salesmen making outlandish claims for a dodgy product.

As for the allegation that Vote Leave cheated by breaking spending limits, just remind me again: which campaign group was it that used the whole of “impartial” Whitehall to make its case? Summoned no less a person than the President of the United States to warn us we would be “back of the queue” for a trade deal? Wholly improperly had the Treasury make forecasts of Stygian gloom (every person poorer by £4,300, unemployment up by 600,000) when no major country had ever left the EU before so the economic effects couldn’t possibly be predicted? Cast the Governor of the Bank of England as Jeremiah Doom? Had limitless resources and most of TV and radio on its side? Spent £9.3million of taxpayers’ money sending a pro-eu leaflet to every household?

Don’t talk to me about cheating. It was hardly a fair contest. Australian cricketers are mere amateurs compared to the anti-brexit mob. The fact is the 2016 EU referendum was a giant fix, a tampered ball that went embarrassingly wrong. The Remain campaign cheated its way to defeat. They’re still trying to pull a fast one, demanding an “urgent investigation” to establish whether a prosecution can be brought – or bought, actually, by 50 “anonymous donors” – over the spending limits allegations. Yet another desperate attempt, I’m afraid, to hold things up and win a second referendum.

There’s no doubt that the Cambridge Analytica case has raised serious concerns about the way Facebook and other social-media platforms handle their users’ information.

My love for Earth, Wind & Fire should not be used against me or for the benefit of businesses I know nothing about. The case for regulation is strong. As is the need to discuss the consequences of living in a world where unscrupulous people try to mine our private data for their own ends.

But let’s not be sidetracked here. It is a sickening falsehood to claim that powerful, secret networks secured the victory for Leave when the dark forces were arrayed against Brexit, not the other way round. Those who voted against EU membership were not the passive victims of digital skulduggery and “mass sentiment change”. On the contrary. Standing up against the entire establishment, the British people showed remarkable liberty of thought. They were defiant not compliant, doing what they thought was right, not what they were told to do. A declaration of independence, by the people for the people. Roll on March 29 2019!