You just can’t beat a neatly written notelet

Idimly remember seeing a photograph of Madonna a couple of years ago, when she was 58, looking every bit the preternaturally youthful, injection-moulded hottie… aside from her wrinkled, veiny hands.

It was accompanied by a faux-mournful caption that hands are what cruelly betrays a woman’s age. I disagree. I have reached the conclusion that what unfairly ages a woman is sending notelets.

Even having such things in the house can destroy your reputation. That’s because, back in the day, they were always floral and twee and came from aunties.

We were forced to send one back as a thank-you for the Christmas gifts we didn’t like, and birthday book tokens we didn’t need, because we still hadn’t read the books we bought with last year’s tokens.

This was partly because people were more polite and partly because they were afraid of using their phones. Hard to believe, millennials, but making phone calls was considered the height of reckless decadence, and parents got terribly anxious about it, especially if someone phoned before

6pm. The tariff was apparently so prohibitive that, as it rang, you would exchange glances and watch the

Bakelite handset in Pinteresque silence before someone had the nerve to pick it up. A stamp, by comparison, cost virtually nothing. Ah, how times have changed.

A first-class stamp will now set you back a whopping 67p,

while nobody knows how much a phone call costs any more, because it’s all buried inside “free minutes” and bolt-ons.

But, truthfully, these days we’re a bit frightened of making calls, too, because why would you speak if you can text someone? Or text someone if you can Whatsapp loads of people all at once?

And everyone’s so busy and won’t they think it weird if you just “phoned up” out of the blue? For a “conversation”? I know I would. That’s why I am spearheading a notelet renaissance, people! It’s the ultimate random act of kindness and makes both the sender and recipient feel special.

Five from John Lewis for £3.75. Even with a stamp, that comes to £1.42 a pop; cheaper than a coffee, more loving than an email and, because hardly anyone else sends them, it’s guaranteed to stay on the mantelpiece until Christmas.