WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MIDDLE-AGED MEN MESSAGE ME ON DATING APPS

The cliché is as old as they come: man of a certain vintage ditches age-appropriate other-half for younger model, one with fewer miles, no wear and tear and is still sizzling under the bonnet.

Much as I might wish to dismiss the notion as outdated, or consigned to the all-too predictable plots of TV dramas (take Doctor Foster [below], Big

Little Lies and Cold Feet to name a few), the data says otherwise. According to dating site Okcupid, while women look for prospective partners of a similar age, men favoured a 22-year-old conquest – no matter what age they were.

While research found that men are far more willing to embrace all ages in their pool of prospective sexual partners, a new study of the most rightswiped people on Tinder, published in Cosmopolitan, shows that of the 30 most popular dates, 18 chaps fall in the 25-to-34 range, while of the 12 women, only one is over the 25 mark – showing that the allure of a dainty young thing isn’t something men of any age are able to grow out of.

Since I started online dating, I’ve had no shortage of messages from men who dwarf my 26 years. Take the recent one from Mark*, 56 (the same age as my father), whose profile lists his desire for “sexy fun”. Or the one from fortysomething Carl – his main image featuring a close-up of his braided (and greying) beard – asking straight off about my “spooning abilities”.

There’s only one appropriate response to this grim inboxfilling by older men who should know better, and that’s laughing it off, preferably over prosecco with mates. Sending screenshots of the worst offenders to one another is the kindest option – it’s either chuckle about the absurdity of it all, or give these delusional blokes what for.

My theory is that men approach dating apps as they do a promotion or job: aim higher than your skill-set deserves and hope that the person making the decision is stunned into acquiescence. But with 16 per cent of marriages originating from online romances, perhaps the middle-aged creeps with cringeworthy come-ons are more effective than we realise.

*Names have been changed.