What could be nicer than a portable ‘throne’?
Ihad hailed him as a hero but like most heroes, he has turned out to have feet of clay. I am distraught at the news that the Prince of Wales has disavowed the claim in a recent biography that he takes his own loo seat with him wherever he travels. “My own what?” he replied when asked about the rumour by a radio presenter during his tour of Australia. “Oh, don’t believe all that c---!”
Whaaaat? I thought I had found my figurehead. I thought we all had. Because really – for whom is travelling with one’s own loo seat not the dream? If I had the power, if I were literally king – or would one day be – you’d better be damned sure the first thing
I would command would be that my own “throne” became my constant companion on all state (and hell, private too, just to be on the safe side) visits. Having access to your own loo is the difference between living and merely existing. Only with – in – your own, can you truly relax. It is balm for the soul, too, as well as everywhere else. Who hasn’t known their greatest peace, thought their profoundest thoughts and experienced moments of greatest satisfaction in the private sanctuary of their home water closet?
I suspect the denial was issued out of a desire not to seem out of touch with the common man. When in truth, nothing could forge a greater bond. Beneath the skin, we are all the same. We all just want a sturdy lock on the door, a trusted place to rest our weary seats, and a minute’s peace.