... but at least it works on film

National Velvet

One of countless Mickey Rooney forays into racing on film, he plays a washed-up jockey, Elizabeth Taylor is the child who trains a horse, and rides it to glory in the Grand National. Not a documentary.

Seabiscuit

Classic underdog tale (spoiler: film is about a horse, not a dog) as scrappy jockey Tobey Maguire, self-made man Jeff Bridges and small, overlooked Seabiscuit stick it to the rich and become a metaphor for healing the Great Depression.

Secretariat

Diane Lane sticks it to the rich, and specifically to rich men, as she, grizzled trainer John Malkovich and Secretariat win the 1973 Triple Crown, including a 31-length romp in the Belmont.

Phar Lap

Fair dinkum 1983 drama about the great Australian horse that won the 1930 Melbourne Cup before dying in suspicious circumstances. Sandpaper?

A Day At The Races

Marx Brothers outing notable for “Tootsie-frootsie Ice Cream” scene where Chico infuriates Groucho by giving him useless betting tips. A familiar problem for all of us.