Eavesdropping on this conversation was a joy
Last night saw television royalty join forces with the real thing in The Queen’s Green Planet
(ITV). This life-affirming documentary followed Her Majesty’s ambitious project to create a vast network of protected forests, spanning the 53 countries of the Commonwealth. The programme’s centrepiece was a lovely conversation between the Queen and David Attenborough as they strolled through Buckingham Palace’s gardens last summer.
Eavesdropping on their relaxed chat was a joy. When they tutted about Health & Safety gone mad or a noisy helicopter overhead (amusingly, the Queen blamed it on President Trump), it was like any two pensioners enjoying a moan about the modern world. At one moment, she laughed at a bent sapling, wondering if “somebody sat on it at a garden party”.
The film also followed members of the Royal family helping make the QCC (Queen’s Commonwealth Canopy) a reality. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge planted trees in Canada’s Great Bear Rainforest – also taking time to catch salmon with their bare hands. (The Duchess was better at it.)
Prince Harry mucked in, demonstrating his flair for public occasions as he danced, drummed and downed local tipples in the Caribbean. “I’m closing in on my half century of trees planted,” he told some giggling schoolgirls, “but I reckon the Queen is up in the thousands.” Attenborough described the tree-planting tradition as “a sort of royal ‘I woz ‘ere’.”
Just to add another A-list name to an already starry cast, Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie took her family to plant trees in the Namibian desert. Jolie flew the single-engine plane herself and was infectiously passionate about the project. Even Boris Johnson popped up with a typically verbose comic contribution.
This was a classily produced film, handsomely shot in verdant greens, the camerawork intimate yet unobtrusive as Attenborough and the Queen took time to smell the roses. As the 91-year-olds stood admiring a pair of magnificent London planes, it drove home how treelike they are themselves: strong, noble and steeped in history.
All across Britain, people are having ideas,” said Karren Brady at the start of Give it a (ITV), sounding worryingly like spoof documentary dimwit Philomena Cunk. “But are they good or bad ones?” Well, this new business series was quite a goody.
Not to be confused with ITV stablemate This Time Next Year – a makeover show, produced by the same company, with a spookily similar premise – it saw The Apprentice’s killer queen meet budding entrepreneurs as they went it alone. Brady checked in at the launch of each venture, before flashing forward to see what happened when they – drum roll – “gave it a year”. Would they make a mint or lose a fortune? One of each, it transpired.
Sarah Butler hired out giant lightup letters for weddings. Could she turn it from a garage-run hobby to a full-time concern? Lack of confidence led her to seek advice from beyond the grave. “I’ve seen three mediums,” she confessed. “My grandad came through and said he could see me with my own business.” Struggling to keep a straight face, Brady told her she needed self-belief, not counsel from dead relatives.
Within a year, Butler had taken on staff, tripled her turnover and even stopped seeing psychics. A happy ending all round.
Next up was Mancunian inventor Thomas Gostelow, who’d cracked a quintessentially British problem: how to keep your tea warm. Sadly, Brady didn’t think the idea was so hot. He was charging £70 for a self-heating mug or a spit-out-your-tea £1,000 for an “elite” version. As the exasperated Brady left Thomas to it, he was selling one per day. According to his website now, they’re priced at £129. Truly a mug’s game. Give it a Year was jazzed up with Britain’s Got Talent-style shooting star graphics and copious close-ups of Brady’s high heels, clip-clopping along purposefully. But she also showed a warmer, more supportive side to the uncompromising demeanour she dispays next to Lord Sugar.
The half-hour format, with snappily told stories, was diverting enough that my tea went cold while watching it. Just don’t get any ideas, Thomas.
The Queen’s Green Planet ★★★★ Give it a Year ★★★