True love, or all just presidential monkey business?
Hand-holding, grooming – Trump and Macron are displaying very familiar behaviour, says Guy Kelly
Almost two years ago, Nigel Farage compared Donald Trump to “a big gorilla”. He meant it as a compliment, but it also raised an important question: is the US President any more evolved than a large, ground-dwelling ape?
In the past two days since Emmanuel Macron and his wife, Brigitte, arrived in Washington DC for their US state visit, Trump has groomed, patted, air-kissed, patted again, held hands with, hugged, kissed a little more, co-planted a tree with, pulled, and firmly gripped his French counterpart in a series of body language power-plays that’s put all their many previous bromantic tussles to shame.
But what would a real expert in primate behaviour make of it all? Would Sir David Attenborough or Dame Jane Goodall make just as effective an interpreter of Trump as a human psychologist or, say, Jon Sopel? Let’s break it down.
‘Is Trump any more evolved than a large ape?’
1 Grooming
In what was arguably the most blatant display of large primate behaviour, Trump made the bizarre move of plucking a speck of “dandruff ” from Macron’s lapel. The French President looked confused; Trump, very pleased with himself; but what was really going on?
This behaviour, which researchers call “allogrooming”, is both hygienic and essential in sorting the social hierarchy. It dictates access to food, sex and social support. Goodall had a more appropriate theory. “When the ageing gorilla is confronted with the much more virile new Alpha male, he shows submissiveness by grooming the Alpha male, but the gesture is actually a vain attempt by the old gorilla to humiliate his much younger rival ape.”
2 Teeth-baring
It isn’t often we see Donald Trump smile. In fact, in James Comey’s book, the former FBI director states there is only one example of Trump laughing (it’s at Clinton’s expense). This week, however, there has been plenty of baring of teeth. But what does that mean? Last year, researchers at the University of Lincoln discovered that in monkeys, at least, a baring of teeth is often mistaken for a smile by foolhardy tourists. In reality, it is an act of aggression, and often comes before a bite. Watch this space…
3 Pulling
One large primate forcing another to follow them. An act of aggression, devotion, or insecurity? According to Chimpanzees: A Gestural Lexicon, which academics at the University of St Andrews put together in 2014, a great ape pulling another can mean several things. One is “move closer”, another is “climb on me” and a third is “travel with me”. We can only assume it was the second in this instance.
4 Excessive hand-holding
If this week’s visit was dominated by anything, it was the excessive hand-hold. Macron and Trump have previously fought over who could shake hands the longest, but this time Trump could barely let go. It may just be desperate affection. In 2016, a video of a chimp called Terry constantly holding hands with his new love, Jeannie, warmed hearts. Terry had spent 18 years alone and was just delighted to see a friend.
“Terry and Jeannie hold hands all through breakfast. These two chimps are reminding us of the beauty that can be found in simply holding hands,” Save the Chimps said. Maybe Trump is just glad to have someone who’s pleased to see him?
5 Alpha-male back-pats
It has been noted before that Trump enjoys a strong Alpha-male back-pat. It’s a patronising tap, somewhere between a hug and a play-fight, and he probably read about it in a business manual he pretended to write in the Eighties.
Macron gives as good as he gets, though, regularly landing a blow on Trump’s upper quarters. Gorillas love a good game of tag. A few years ago, researchers at the University of Portsmouth noticed that gorillas lower on the social ladder were usually the taggers. The low-status gorillas used the taps as an ego boost.
Now it all makes sense…