Chocs-away!

Scientists propose a tax on chocolate to prevent us becoming creatures resembling elephant seals, scarcely capable of opening the door to the man from Ocado delivering new consignments of confectionery. Such a tax might not be the last straw but it must be close. The process seems to be to find out what people like and then whop a tax on it. Because we need them, cars are taxed. Wine is hugely taxed and buying cigarettes is like being put in the pillory and heavily fined simultaneously. Tax was taken off dogs only because it wasn’t worth collecting; instead we got the Dangerous Dogs Act. True, the British are world- champion chocolate chompers, getting through 18lb a year each. But the boffins should recall the old French salt tax: it didn’t reduce consumption much but it did help cause the French Revolution.