MPS ponder takeaways from TV chefs’ recipe for healthier lifestyles

Yesterday Parliament was graced by a visit from two TV chefs. They’d come to warn the health select committee about childhood obesity.

“This is a national security issue,” said Jamie Oliver, sternly.

“Today is the first of May,” said Hugh Fearnley-whittingstall. “It’s May Day for the obesity crisis! And you can read the word ‘May’ any way you like!” The committee tittered politely. Mr Oliver has appeared in front of MPS before. For some years, in fact, he badgered them to help parents by introducing a tax on sugary drinks (or, as Mr Oliver called it, “a tax for love”). It finally came into force last month. But he isn’t resting on his laurels. Next, he declared yesterday, MPS should tax unhealthy milkshakes, ban adverts for junk food during The X Factor – and give Tony the Tiger a new job. Crafty advertisers, he explained, used “aspirational superheroes” to lure children into eating unhealthy breakfast cereals. So how about removing Tony the Tiger from boxes of Frosties … and instead, putting him on boxes of Weetabix or Shreddies?

The MPS listened in respectful silence. None of them pointed out that Tony the Tiger is a trademark belonging to Kellogg’s, while Shreddies is produced by Nestle, and Weetabix by Weetabix Ltd. But perhaps they just didn’t want to look defeatist. After all, as Mr Oliver told them (more than once): “If you can dream it, you can make it happen.”

Diana Johnson (Lab, Kingston upon Hull North) was worried that some shoppers found it hard to resist special offers on junk food. Recently in a bakery she’d seen a woman buying four sausage rolls for £1.

Mr Fearnley-whittingstall looked appalled. Surely the bakery could make a more responsible offer than that. “What’s wrong with three sausage rolls and an apple?” he demanded. “Or three sausage rolls and a small bag of carrot sticks?” Again, none of the MPS demurred.

Perhaps they simply thought it was a good suggestion. Or perhaps they were silently picturing the wan little bag of warm lettuce you always find nestling unsolicited at the bottom of your Chinese takeaway order. Had anyone, in the history of human civilisation, ever eaten that wan little bag of warm lettuce? Perhaps a job for an enterprising young Commons researcher.

Johnny Mercer (Con, Plymouth Moor View) asked a brave question. “How are you going to reply,” he ventured, “to people who say, ‘This is the nanny state. If I want to eat fatty food, I’ll eat fatty food! That’s why I’m British!’”

Mr Oliver was unperturbed. “I believe,” he said graciously, “in the British people.” They would eat more sensibly if they were offered healthier choices, and “good, clear information”.

It’s easy to scoff, but Mr Oliver has a habit of getting his way on these things. Just you wait.

This time next year, the Coco Pops monkey will be singing, “I’d rather have a bowl of raw quinoa!”