A clean-eating diet is the thin end of the wedge
Alarming news from The Wedding preparations where Ms Markle seems to have put the man she calls Haz on a diet. The Prince who, when he was a soldier, was famous for existing on Kentucky Fried Chicken, is enrolled in a clean-eating programme. He has already lost at least half a stone thanks to juicing, cutting out carbs and replacing them with quinoa. Harry probably thought quinoa was a Hawaiian hula dancer before he met his fiancée.
The poor chap has given up smoking, now he is “being weaned off meat”. Yikes. There’ll be nothing left of him. Does Meghan not appreciate that a well-cut military uniform has a slimming effect? If she doesn’t want her groom to resemble a Biro refill, I suggest emergency action be taken immediately. There’s a Mcdonald’s just across the road from Kensington Palace, Megz. Haz will explain to you what a Big Tasty Extra Bacon with Mozzarella Dippers is, honey. Loads of protein, promise!