Time to repeal the Eighth amendment

Time to ‘fess up. How many of you felt a “there but for the grace” jolt of relief when you learned of that elderly couple who forgot where they had parked their car… for five days?

Whenever I misplace anything (which I do, a lot) apparently I always say the same thing; “Has anyone seen my fountain pen/rail ticket/screwed up sheet of kitchen paper containing my posh diamond earrings?”

So now all I have to utter is “Has” and the entire household yells back “MOP”. And between you and me, not always in a nice way.

MOP means “Most Obvious Place”. I will admit I have form in this respect – surely everyone occasionally hunts for glasses they are already wearing or discovers that someone has actually put the TV remote back where it’s supposed to be? But is it really so obvious that the passports would be tucked inside an Ordnance Survey map of Wales?

I did so happen to mislay my first car, ironically long ago, when I still had a memory. The penny dropped after two days however, by which time my double-parked custard-yellow Micra had been impounded.

A friend drove me to the council depot and tiptoed away as I paid up and stood stroking its mirror, whispering an apology for being so neglectful.

Emmanuel Elliott, 81, and his partner Hilda Farmer, 79, couldn’t quite locate their Ford Fiesta after she dropped him off for an appointment at Cheltenham General Hospital Hospital and went to find a parking space.

All Hilda knew for certain was that she had parked on a road with “nice houses on one side” and “greenery” on the other. After friends and family tried in vain to track it down, an appeal for help went out along with the offer of a £100 finder’s fee.

Five days later, a builder reported that he’d found it, three traffic tickets affixed to the windscreen. Moreover the “residential road flanked by trees” description was a false memory; it turns out Hilda left it in a car park.

Take it from me; MOPS are called MOPS for good reason.