The new rules for being posh
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have rewritten the upperclass rulebook
It’s fair to say that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding day will go down in the annals of upper class history as a major game changer. The day that the rules of posh – refined and honed over centuries, passed down through generations, written about in handbooks and traded for hard cash at elite public schools – were shredded and thrown in the air like so much confetti.
OMG. You could almost hear the sharp intake of breath as duchesses and pushy mums, and people who have just enrolled their offspring at Hill House, realised that the path to social superiority has been road blocked and re-routed and no one has given them the map.
As of now you can’t simply call your daughter Germanda, send her to Stowe/ marlborough, bundle her off with Etonians to Rock and Verbier, get together a party for The Feathers, finance her through Edinburgh, or wangle her an internship at Vogue or Christies and know that you’ve safely launched her into society. We will look back on these rites of passage as relics of a different time, as relevant to membership of the privileged class now as a velvet hairband or a cordon bleu cookery diploma.
It’s astonishing how quickly change has taken hold, how fast the upper classes have gone from mocking Heseltine for having to buy his furniture to blinking in the bright light of the New Order where royalty apparently have a Soho House leather cinema chair on their wedding list. The arrival of the Middletons was a warning shot for the old guard, but at least they aspire to Old Posh rules and would rather die than be seen in the wrong brand of wellies.
Post Meghan’s arrival, what constitutes Posh has been turned inside out. New Posh is nothing like Posh as we have known it.
Old Posh: has a least one foot in the country (we’re not talking green belt or within easy reach of a flat white) and goes hand in hand with gardening and blood sports. Post Markle Posh (PMP) country life is groomed, clipped and no animals have been harmed in the making.
It looks a bit like Babington House, with surround sound, bidets and hooded robes, and is essentially the metropolitan edit of the country with all the uncomfortable bits (magpies crucified on posts, ewes afterbirth, etc) taken out.
Old Posh: takes pride in not spending serious money on clothes, deeming all that to be “flash”. PMP does not respect the faintly scruffy, recycled shantung and a hat from Fenwicks message of Old Posh and will happily spend four figures on a cashmere shrug, and three on a cuticle enhancer, because they aspire to look like Amal and George. Amal plus George now officially beats Old Posh.
Old Posh: never touchyfeely. No hands on the back for emphasis and certainly no hugging the staff. PMP, everyone gets the hand clasped-over-hand double-handed greeting. Plenty of eye contact. Plenty of empathy. Even Prince Charles is leaning in.
Old Posh: is faintly suspicious of American taste/celebrities/outsiders. Post Markle that’s all over for good. The Old Posh can no longer pull rank, based on their titles, size of their estates and proximity to power, when an American mixed race celebrity is married to Harry, and bezzies with Oprah. Who has the power now?
Old Posh: to date, gung ho girls who don’t mind being called girls or gung ho. Your typical Old Posh young woman is husky voiced, louche and good at playing Billiard Fives, doing shots and driving a Land Rover in rubbish conditions. New PMP women have no interest in the above, and prefer to use their time for working, networking or doing aerial yoga. Going up.
‘Everyone gets the hand clasped-over-hand doublehanded greeting. Plenty of eye contact. Plenty of empathy’