Ed’s nimby newts

Ed Sheeran, the tunefully successful boy next door, wants to build a chapel in the grounds of his Suffolk house. Plans look attractive: a flint-walled nave with a round tower in the local idiom. But great crested newts have kicked up a fuss, in their annoying way. No wonder they’re so rare if they complain each time someone wants to build a chapel in their back yard. A compromise could perhaps leave Mr Sheeran and the newts in amity, happily strumming a guitar and waving their dorsal crests. East Anglia has 1,200 historic churches, many redundant or penniless. Mr Sheeran does not want a chapel on his doorstep, so he could adopt an ancient church instead. No doubt it would please Cherry Seaborn, his fiancée, almost as much as a crest attracts a female newt. If church bells ring, let them be their very own.