Meghan’s first month
The seven habits of a power princess
Few royal brides have jumped so effortlessly into the deep end of royal life as Meghan Markle. In the month since she became the new Duchess of Sussex, in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, Meghan has hardly put a foot wrong accompanying her husband, smiling and fresh-faced, to four royal engagements and a wedding.
She has seemingly won over her in-laws – Prince Charles has bestowed on her the (slightly odd) nickname Tungsten, after the precious metal known for its strong, unbending qualities – and the Queen was so keen to get to know her new granddaughter-in-law, that she whisked her off on a sleepover tour to the North à deux.
There have been some early stumbling blocks: Thomas Markle, Meghan’s father, made his second shock media appearance, a toe-curling interview with Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain last week in which he revealed what his son-in-law apparently thought about Donald Trump and Brexit, and she narrowly avoided a faux pas when she attempted to step into the car before the Queen. Meghan, however, has remained poised and professional throughout, and it’s not for nothing she was named in Vogue’s 25 most inspirational and aspirational women.
So how has she done it? Either consciously or subconsciously, the Duchess of Sussex seems to have mastered each of the principles outlined in Stephen Covey’s bestselling self-help tome, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
It is the hit book held dear by everyone from CEOS to public school headmasters. So is it by calmly deploying these habits that Meghan is endearing herself to the Firm she has joined?
We look at the seven principles and examine how she may have put them into action to become the ultimate power princess.
Be proactive
Meghan could have been forgiven for wanting to take a few weeks off after the wedding, a stint on a Caribbean island, perhaps, before gradually easing in to royal engagements. But she was eager to get going straight away. Just three days after her wedding, she was by Harry’s side at a garden party at Buckingham Palace for Prince Charles’s 70th birthday, looking every bit the duchess in a £590 Goat dress. This kind of commitment to the end goal is directly in line with Covey’s book, which encourages proactivity.
Begin with what you want in the future
Ever the diplomat, Meghan knows that life as a member of the Royal family will be 100per cent easier if she gets on with the crew; she has thus been working hard to nurture bonds with her new family. In her wedding speech, she said that she’d “at last found her prince” and thanked the Royal family for being so welcoming to her. In the past month the genuine affection and pride they feel for her has become apparent – even Camilla, who is usually quite reserved, was pictured holding her hand at Prince Charles’s party.
Her biggest fan, however, is Her Majesty herself, who invited her to travel to Cheshire with her in the royal train, an honour that has, to date, been reserved for senior royals, and not yet bestowed on the Duchess of Cambridge, or even Princes William and Harry. When Meghan stepped out at Runcorn Station, she was sporting a new pair of earrings, a gift from Her Majesty. She then excelled herself as the Queen’s wingwoman for the day, retaining a respectful distance as they were introduced to officials, and laughing with her like an old friend as they watched a performance by local children during the opening of the new Mersey Gateway Bridge.
The occasion showed quite how much the Royal family values Meghan – the Duchess of Cambridge didn’t attend an event alone with the Queen until nearly a year into
marriage.
Prioritise
Highly effective people, according to Covey, can see through the white noise of life to determine what requires their attention and what does not. Meghan is a master at this, putting family relationships over her own social life – not once has she been snapped partying with friends since the wedding. However, royal protocol seems to have fallen into the “not urgent, not important” category. She attracted criticism for attending her first Trooping the Colour in a dusty pink Carolina Herrera bateau-neck dress with short sleeves – not even
sleeves – not even Princess Diana dared reveal flesh at the Queen’s birthday parade. Then for her first visit to Royal Ascot on Tuesday, she opted against wearing a Royal Enclosure badge bearing her name, attaching it instead to her clutch. Arguably, the delicate silk of her white Givenchy shirt dress would not have tolerated a pin, but we suspect that Meghan, too, was disinclined to associate herself with a fusty tradition that seeks to label those of higher social standing.
Think win-win
Meghan’s wardrobe over the past four weeks exemplifies what Covey calls “the mutually beneficial strategy”. Even though she looks great in bright colours, in the presence of Her Majesty she has consistently opted for neutral tones that also suit her: this way she cannot be accused of stealing the limelight. At the wedding of Princess Diana’s niece Celia Mccorquodale to George Woodhouse last weekend, she wore a billowy Oscar de la Renta dress that ensured there was no chance of her upstaging the bride.
She has also, diplomatically, referenced the Duchess of Cambridge’s style several times recently, wearing her take on Kate’s trademark glossy curls. It might seem counterintuitive to dress down rather than up, but Meghan has what Covey refers to as “an abundance mentality”: her end goal is not to make herself stand out; in her mind there is plenty out there for everyone and this, for her, it is a win-win.
Seek first to understand and then be understood
While we’ve seen a lot of Meghan over the past few weeks, we have actually heard from her very little. During her visit to the north of England, she told a royal fan “Harry is the best husband ever”, but there have been no hugs – disappointing given that before her wedding she claimed in an interview “I’m American, I hug”. This, we suspect, is because she is quietly observing her new environment for the time being: watching; asking questions and prioritising listening over speaking. “You have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust,” Covey writes.
Synergise
Synergy, according to Covey’s book, is what happens when two people (or ideas) come together and the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. When Meghan’s coat of arms was released a fortnight ago, the design, which features both Californian and British aspects, suggests that Covey’s definition of synergy is the end goal for the Duchess of Sussex. She worked closely with the College of Arms to ensure each element reflected her character and ambitions: gold stripes on a blue background to portray rays of sun on a cloudless Californian sky; and a wild flower meadow with California’s state flower, the golden poppy, and wintersweet, which grows at Kensington Palace – showing where she has come from and where she is going with Prince Harry.
Sharpen the saw
As an actress and feminist, Meghan presumably already shares Covey’s view that “you are your greatest asset”. Indeed she used to preach it on her lifestyle blog, The Tig. Self-mastery – preserving and enhancing mind and body – is Covey’s final and most fundamental habit, and one that Meghan is reliant on as she morphs from television star to British royalty. The destination of their honeymoon, which they snuck in before the Trooping the Colour, remains a closely guarded secret, but one can assume the former actress used the break to relax, exercise and eat healthy meals. Covey’s habits form part of a cyclical series of self-renewal and over the past four weeks, we have seen just one phase of Meghan’s reinvention. The three scrolls on her coat of arms, however, hint at a future where she will step out of her shell and use the power of words to make a difference. Watch this space.