Crumbs, no crumpets

The unexpected effects of a shortage of carbon dioxide have been generally benign. Supplies of artificially fizzed keg beer might be down, but the natural nut-brown attractions of real ale should prove a welcome substitute. Bagged salads might run low, with no CO2 to provide a miniature atmosphere to stop their cut leaves shrivelling. Very well, let them eat frisée. Barbecues were said to be in jeopardy because the sort of meat required is packaged in carbon dioxide after the slaughtered beasts have been stunned with the gas. Barbecues, though, are notoriously unreliable treats for guests, or certainly for neighbours. Now the dearth of CO2 is blamed for a shortage of crumpets. These too sit on shop shelves in little plastic space-suits inflated with the compound. It is uncertain how many afternoon teas during this heatwave will be spoiled for want of crumpets. But when normal supplies are resumed, as we wipe a stray buttery crumb from the chin, how pleased we shall all be.