The little things that get us really angry

In Australia, the new ban on free singleuse carrier bags is not going well. In Western Australia, a shopper put his hands around the throat of a Woolworths employee, and in a survey of supermarkets, over half of employees said they had suffered abuse as a result of the ban, and authorities are now treating “bag rage” as an alarming new phenomenon.

Can you believe it? Well, yes, we can. We are all aware of specific rage syndrome (remember road rage? Boundary rage? Neighbour’s conversion rage?), and while we would never throttle a supermarket employee, we have rage triggers that surprise even us.

Heatwave rage

Because, well how long have you got? Too fat for summer clothes; too hot; people pressing too close; having to have a barbecue (hate barbecues…); not having slept for three weeks; not knowing what to do with ourselves at the weekend... Love Island rage

If you aren’t familiar with Alex the Doctor, he is an A&E doctor who is pretending to be a sensitive himbo, and generally willing himself brain-dead and smooth all over like a Ken doll. He’s a doctor!

Coffee shop conference-call rage

Is it exhibitionism? Is it a spatial awareness thing? We don’t want to be included in your strategy meeting with Hannah from HR. Why is your phone on speaker when it’s just you, and you’re not even typing?

Strawberry rage

Get them the day before. Keep them somewhere cool. Following evening, mouldy smush.

System-down rage

When you go to the dentist and you can see the dentist in his room, but because the “system is down”, they can’t “access their appointment schedule”, so you are not allowed to see the dentist. Even though you can wave at him.

Moth rage

You live in a shrine to the plastic sticky-strip cages, and still they come and eat your last remaining favourite thing. You would throttle them. But you can’t.

Calling your mobile phone provider rage

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that?” purrs the automated O2 lady. “Was that a No?” “I didn’t quite get that… Shall we try it another way?” If you get as far as “Shall we try it another way?” – and you may well not… – you will be at rage-tipping point.

Self-service in the supermarket rage

Literally impossible without the assistance of the shop assistant with the fob. If they are not standing over you saying soothing things, you will be reduced to hot tears of rage, “unexpected item in bagging area” ringing in your ears.

Hand luggagepacking rage

Everything has to be miniature and slotted in perfectly, like a puzzle, and then you have to make it through the “clear plastic bag under 100ml” measuring zone, and you’ve always forgotten that tube of lip balm.

Moved phone charger rage

Self-explanatory, I believe. See also: they connect the TV to their laptop so that you have to get phone instructions to reconnect it. The rage really sets in if you can’t get hold of them. Which you can’t.

Rosé rage

Because you’ve got so much rage (see above) and it’s so hot and it’s sitting there in the fridge, daring you to have just the one. Bottle. Three Campari spritzes will do it, too.

All the rage

Those little things that make us lose our temper…