It’s all-out war in the Commons – but only on one side of the house
Tory MPS hate each other. They aren’t even trying to hide it any more. They’ve abandoned all but the most basic civility. Right there in the chamber, before the press, the public and the television cameras, they heckle, taunt and deride each other with unbridled contempt.
It must be bliss, right now, to be a Labour MP. Each day you can just stroll into the Commons, lie back on your comfy green bench, and watch the Conservative Party tear itself apart, right before your eyes.
Yesterday evening saw the latest reading of the customs bill. The debate almost immediately disintegrated into a rhetorical punch-up, with Tory Remainers on one side and Tory Brexiteers on the other. Anna Soubry, a Tory Remainer, started by paying tribute to Margaret Thatcher for her commitment to the single market. Sir Edward Leigh, a Tory Brexiteer, crashed into her speech like a rhino into a Wendy house. “I knew Margaret Thatcher!” he bellowed. “I worked for Margaret Thatcher! And [Ms Soubry] ain’t no Margaret Thatcher!”
“Pathetic!” squawked Nicky Morgan, a Tory Remainer, straight back at him. “Is that the best you can do?” “Wholly unnecessary,” sniffed Ms Soubry. “And really rather foolish.”
“Rather than talking about the detail, he prefers to trade insults!” snapped Ms Morgan, fixing Sir Edward with a glare that could have burnt through a breezeblock.
Again: these three MPS are, at least nominally, from the same party. But the brawl was only just beginning.
Ms Soubry then claimed that Tory Brexiteers – her own parliamentary colleagues, sitting just feet away from her – had admitted “in private conversations” that the type of Brexit they favoured would lead to “hundreds of thousands” of British people losing their jobs. And not only that – these Tory Brexiteers thought it was “worth it”. But nobody voted leave, Ms Soubry thundered, “on the basis that somebody with a gold-plated pension and inherited wealth would take their job away from them”.
It’s worth taking a moment to digest those words. A Tory MP was accusing other Tory MPS of knowingly – and, indeed, quite happily – destroying their constituents’ livelihoods.
She also, for good measure, said that the Government – her own party’s Government – was “in grave danger of losing the plot”, and that ministers should be “shaking their heads with shame”. “Who is in charge?” she howled. “Who is running Britain? Is it the Prime Minister? Or is it the honourable member for NE Somerset [Jacob Rees-mogg]?”
Parliamentary security guards are going to have to start frisking Tory MPS’ pockets. I’ll be amazed if by the end of the week they aren’t pelting each other with buns.