A so-so performance from Olly Robbins, the bête noire of Brexiteers

He’s the bête noire of Brexiteers. The man they blame for the Chequers sell-out. The unelected civil servant who has usurped the Brexit Secretary and seized control of the EU negotiations. Yet we see next to nothing of him. He’s an enigma. A shadow. Just what kind of person is he, this mysterious Olly Robbins?

Well. Perhaps I can sum him up like this. Mr Robbins, it turns out, is one of those people who begin their answer to every question – every single question – with the word “so”.

Yes, that’s right. He’s one of them. You hear them all the time on the Today programme. The Daily Telegraph’s letters editor is perpetually engulfed by lamentations about it. Yesterday in Parliament, Mr Robbins made a rare appearance in front of the Brexit select committee. For two solid hours it was “so” this, “so” that and “so” the other. “So, what I and my team did … So, the distinction I’m making … So, if what you’re asking me is …”

It was like watching a 21st-century Sir Humphrey Appleby. Except these days the show would be called So, Prime Minister.

It might sound a trivial habit to pick up on, but I don’t think it is, because the incessant use of “so” is telling. It’s a subtle way to dodge a question. Crucially, it means never having to say “yes” or “no”. Schoolboys should try it. “Jenkins! Jones says you stole his lunch money! Did you?”

“So, my position on sharing is that it’s an important lesson for any child to learn, and that’s why I’m pleased that Jones has had the opportunity to …”

Inevitably, the Brexit committee squeezed little out of Mr Robbins. However hotly the MPS accosted him – Craig Mackinlay (Con, S Thanet) even accused him of “a coup d’état” – he remained unperturbed. The key confrontation was with the high priest of the backbench Brexiteers, Jacob Rees-mogg. “Congratulations, Mr Robbins,” began Mr Rees-mogg, with the faintest flicker of serpentine menace. “You must be very pleased with the written ministerial statement today.” He was referring to the news that Theresa May had downgraded the Brexit department, thus awarding greater responsibility to Mr Robbins.

Mr Rees-mogg then attempted to establish, with great patience, the timeline of Mr Robbins’s involvement in the Chequers plan. He was soon lost in a fog of “so”. It didn’t matter how many times he rephrased the question.

“So, we’ve all been concerned to deliver the policy set out at Mansion House, which … So, I think the acting Cabinet Secretary addressed some of these questions with the public administration committee … So, these papers have their origins in other papers …”

The most interesting moment came at the end. “I attribute no blame to you at all, Mr Robbins,” said Mr Rees-mogg quietly, “because you are answerable to the Prime Minister.”

Clear implication: it’s all her fault. And when this goes wrong, it’s her we’ll get.