If you want to future-proof your relationship, be friends before you commit to marriage

ONLINE dating is an increasingly popular way to meet the love of your life. But a new questionnaire that aims to future-proof a relationship suggests being friends first will help a marriage stick.

The research, by divorce lawyer Baroness Shackleton and the University of Exeter, found that “thriving” couples were friends before getting together and had “thought carefully about formalising their relationship”.

Researchers interviewed more than 50 long-term couples and posed 10 questions that people should ask be- fore committing to a serious relationship, about their expectations from life and from the other partner.

Baroness Shackleton, a partner at law firm Payne Hicks Beach, said that during her 40 years as a divorce lawyer more than half of couples who approached her said they had realised either before they married or very soon afterwards that they were “fundamentally incompatible” with their spouse.

She said she wanted the material to be taught in schools so children could learn how to make relationships successful.

“I am acutely aware that whilst there is much school-directed education on sex, drugs and alcohol, there is little or none in relation to the most important decision a person makes – namely with whom you settle down and have children,” she said.

Prof Anne Barlow, from the University of Exeter Law School, who led the study, said: “Thriving relationships share some fundamental qualities. Mostly the couple have chosen a partner with whom they are a ‘good fit’ and have ways of successfully navigating stressful times.”