Uber for yachts
How to holiday like the super-rich
In some people, they evoke open-mouthed jealousy; in others, sheer revulsion. But, however you feel when you see the vast, smug hull of a luxury yacht, we probably all have the same thought: who owns that? It’s actually very easy to find out. Online ownership databases for super-, mega- and giga-yachts – loosely defined as privately owned and professionally crewed yachts that are more than 121ft (37m), 197ft (60m) and 328ft (100m) in length, respectively – are not only searchable by name, but most of the world’s 4,000-plus are satellite-tracked and free to look up whenever you like.
So let’s. After two minutes on superyachtfan.com and vesselfinder. com, I can tell you Kismet, the 298ft (91m) mega-yacht on which Beyoncé, Jay-z and their children were photographed last week, is now moored near Pompeii. Kismet is owned by Shahid Khan, the Pakistani-american billionaire who also owns Fulham FC. He rents it out for £1.1million per week.
Roman Abramovich’s 534ft gigayacht Eclipse is nestled off Antibes. I can find Sir James Dyson’s 298ft Nahlin, off the Greek island of Poliegos. And the longest luxury yacht in the world – the $400million, 590ft Azzam
– was last spotted in the Gulf, near its owner, the Emir of Abu Dhabi.
What isn’t searchable is just how it feels to be one of those owners.
“Great,” confirms Ian Malouf, from aboard his 177ft super-yacht Mischief. “It’s a real pinch-yourself moment, having a big boat. One of the greatest things you can do.”
Malouf – an Australian businessman who started as a bin-lorry driver 35 years ago, before building a fortune with his own waste management company – bought Mischief for £22.5million in 2015. We are speaking via Skype, since he is just off Malta.
Looked after by on-board management, and chartered for much of the year, she was picked up by Malouf earlier this summer for a family pootle. Appearing on screen in a black T-shirt, the 53-year-old sounds both affable and terrifying. Behind him, people in swimwear walk around – some, his five children, aged between 15 and 22. “Last night we were in Sicily, this morning we’re in Malta. That’s the great thing about having a super-yacht, you have so much freedom,” says Malouf, who is based in London and Sydney. “I’ve always had a boat for entertaining clients, and they’ve been in my family my whole life, too. They just got bigger.”
Mischief is not even close to the top 100 luxury yachts in the world by size, but she still has six cabins, takes 12 guests, contains a Jacuzzi, a sunlounging deck, a full bar, several dining salons, room for 14 crew (including two chefs), four Sea-doos, a jet boat, gym equipment and – for some reason – the ability to stage a silent disco.
When Malouf bought her, he and Larissa, his wife, refitted the entire thing, as well as renaming her something “that suited the family a bit more”. A tour on the yacht’s website shows a predominance of white, an unreasonable number of throw cushions and a huge, monochrome portrait of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards hugging.
Isn’t he jealous of other rich men [there is one woman owner in the top 50 longest yachts list] with bigger boats, like Eclipse, with its armourplated master suite, two swimming pools, two helipads, a cinema, a mini-submarine and its own missile defence system?
“It’s a fun way to be competitive: who’s got the shiniest, who’s got the biggest,” Malouf laughs.
Of course, those boats often contain the likes of Abramovich or Sir Philip Green. Normal people must assume that because you have a super-yacht you’re of… similar moral standing?
“Those guys keep themselves to themselves. We meet some great people, but you’ve always got your knockers,” he says. “There’s a saying: ‘Everyone likes to see you do well, no one likes to see you do too well’.”
Malouf is so passionate about this that he has launched a company, Ahoy Club, which offers luxury yachts for charter; a kind of Uber for the mega-wealthy on water, if you will. Sick of the ironclad grip a cosy cartel of brokers have on the £10.6 billion industry, which typically charges 20per cent commission on all rents, it’s a website and app allowing prospective clients to charter in minutes, and pay substantially less. Mischief, for instance, was nearly £300,000 per week last year; with Ahoy Club, it’s nearer £250,000. A snip.
“The worst thing about being a super-yacht owner,” he says, beginning a sentence I never thought I’d hear, “is that everyone’s trying to stitch you up. But it’s like running a small business, you have costs, a payroll of crew, regulations. There’s a perception that you can be ripped off, and no one likes that.”
Ahoy Club members can book from more than 2,000 yachts, and once they’ve gone to meet it in their chosen pickup spot, there’s 24/7 chat support available from experts in London. Owners get a better deal as well, since they keep control of pricing, scheduling and “yacht rules”.
“It’s been really well received,” Malouf says. It’s easy to be enviously dismissive – and I definitely am – but he has a point. For people who can afford to pay hundreds of thousands for a week on a boat, an extra 20per cent commission is a bit rough.
Later this year, Malouf plans to sell Mischief in Monaco. So, an upgrade?
“I’m definitely looking at that. It’s a little bit of an addiction. You’re happy with what you’ve got, and then you think you can take it bigger…”
‘Last night, we were in Sicily, today we’re in Malta. That’s the great thing’