WALDEN’S WORLD

How to have a waist like Joan Collins

‘What is the green garnish on my pasta?” I’ve seen some tremulous LA waiters in my time, but when Dame Joan Collins fixed her mesmerising olive eyes on his on a night out in Beverly Hills last Friday, I thought the guy might have to be taken off on a stretcher.

“I believe it’s watercress,” he stuttered.

“Right. And why is it on everything? Everything! Is it a government edict?”

While he rushed off to find this out from the chef, I took the chance to ask the 85-year-old actress and friend just how she has managed to maintain her figure all these years.

From the look of Dame Joan’s waist, cress is all she eats. Not so, she explains: “But I’ll only ever eat a third to a half of what’s on my plate. Then, at supper, I allow myself a single Martini – it doesn’t bloat you out like wine does – and I’ll make it last for the length of the meal.”

Noted. And while the rest of us embark on the Dame Joan diet, she intends to start a movement: the #Watercresswar movement. “Because if everyone puts photos of dishes drowned in watercress online, we might be able to fight this thing.”